Kiss my C4H5As
So I was looking at a bottle of liquid soap the other day and a few things amused me. Before I describe those things, allow me to analyze how sad the previous sentence was (a realization I came to whilst typing it). First, it's sad that I was actually looking at a bottle of soap. Who does that? And who looks closely enough to find something amusing on it? And who gets amused by a soap bottle anyway?
Anyway, I think the soap was from Canada. I say that because the writing on the bottle was in both English and French. That's the first amusing thing. French people don't bathe or wash themselves - what's the point of rewriting the label in French? Unless the manufacturer has a deep love of irony. Even French Canadians are a filthy folk. Not as bad as the French themselves, but a close second. Where do you think the term "French Shower" comes from?
For you uninformed folk, a "French Shower" is the process of applying gallons of cologne or perfume in lieu of a shower. It's creates a wonderfully sickening scent which, according to the aroma chemists I hired, is composed of 38% B.O. and 62% terrible perfume. It's horrific.
Don't confuse this with a "Canadian Shower" - the process of standing over the sink, quickly rinsing your face and pits; again with no real shower or bath. I might be tempted to call a mix of the two a "French-Canadian Shower" - you know, the face/pit rinse of Canada coupled with the love of cheap cologne endorsed by the Frenchies. After my recent New York trip, however, I think this should be named a "New York Shower." Roughly 50% of the people there are drenched in awful cologne or perfume. And after getting over the intitial cloud of disgust, you detect a subtle hint of BO - the kind of BO which comes from a Canadian Shower. This mixture is about 15% BO, 85% cheap pefrume. So my apologies got to my smelly Quebecois friends - New York stole your trademark self-cleaning technique.
Anyway, back to the soap. As a recap, funny thing the first: stinky French people and the irony associated with a french soap label. The next funny thing was the ingredients. One list of ingredients had the common chemical names, while the other had the IUPAC* names. They actually went through the hassle of converting the naming conventions. Why would you do that? It was either torture for the chemists or for the graphic designers. Somebody got on the bosses bad side, and it amuses me.
I'll take another moment to admit how nerdy I am (if you didn't already get that from the title of this post (if you don't understand the title, Google the chemical formula (yes, I'm nerdy for remembering that chemical))). First, I recognized that the ingredient names were different. Second, I remembered the naming conventions from my Organic Chemsitry class. And third, I was actually amused by naming conventions. Sigh.
Well, that's it for my tale of mischief, mayhem and soap. I've got a bunch of stuff to say about my New York trip, but my brother still has the majority of my pictures (which I'd like to put online). He'll be down tomorrow, so I'll probably start ranting about my trip soon. Not that anyone cares.
*International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry
Anyway, I think the soap was from Canada. I say that because the writing on the bottle was in both English and French. That's the first amusing thing. French people don't bathe or wash themselves - what's the point of rewriting the label in French? Unless the manufacturer has a deep love of irony. Even French Canadians are a filthy folk. Not as bad as the French themselves, but a close second. Where do you think the term "French Shower" comes from?
For you uninformed folk, a "French Shower" is the process of applying gallons of cologne or perfume in lieu of a shower. It's creates a wonderfully sickening scent which, according to the aroma chemists I hired, is composed of 38% B.O. and 62% terrible perfume. It's horrific.
Don't confuse this with a "Canadian Shower" - the process of standing over the sink, quickly rinsing your face and pits; again with no real shower or bath. I might be tempted to call a mix of the two a "French-Canadian Shower" - you know, the face/pit rinse of Canada coupled with the love of cheap cologne endorsed by the Frenchies. After my recent New York trip, however, I think this should be named a "New York Shower." Roughly 50% of the people there are drenched in awful cologne or perfume. And after getting over the intitial cloud of disgust, you detect a subtle hint of BO - the kind of BO which comes from a Canadian Shower. This mixture is about 15% BO, 85% cheap pefrume. So my apologies got to my smelly Quebecois friends - New York stole your trademark self-cleaning technique.
Anyway, back to the soap. As a recap, funny thing the first: stinky French people and the irony associated with a french soap label. The next funny thing was the ingredients. One list of ingredients had the common chemical names, while the other had the IUPAC* names. They actually went through the hassle of converting the naming conventions. Why would you do that? It was either torture for the chemists or for the graphic designers. Somebody got on the bosses bad side, and it amuses me.
I'll take another moment to admit how nerdy I am (if you didn't already get that from the title of this post (if you don't understand the title, Google the chemical formula (yes, I'm nerdy for remembering that chemical))). First, I recognized that the ingredient names were different. Second, I remembered the naming conventions from my Organic Chemsitry class. And third, I was actually amused by naming conventions. Sigh.
Well, that's it for my tale of mischief, mayhem and soap. I've got a bunch of stuff to say about my New York trip, but my brother still has the majority of my pictures (which I'd like to put online). He'll be down tomorrow, so I'll probably start ranting about my trip soon. Not that anyone cares.
*International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry
posted by Montgomery at 2:41 PM
2 Comments:
Holy crap, Colan has a blog...my life is finally complete. Whenever I am bored and need a good laugh, I now have somewhere else to go besides MadTV which is on 36 hours a day on comedy central. This can't replace being in the same house, or even town, of colan himself, but I guess it is close enough.
By the way, I don't know whats worse, your making fun of such a wonderful chemical, or me not needing to google it to know what it is.
I would say you knowing the chemical without using Google is worse, but that would make me as sad as you. So I'll just say the worst part is...your face! Boo yah!
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