Bad Parenting and the Chocolate Factory
So I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this weekend with Becca, Jason and Jason’s friend Cristin. First let me say that the movie was good. I really enjoyed it. Johnny Depp is creepy and hilarious. And David Kelly (Grandpa Joe) was very amusing as well. I think I prefer the original – it’s creepier and, to its credit, I think it was unintentionally creepy. It also gets bonus points for the extra disturbing tunnel scene.
More disturbing than the boat scene from the original is the shockingly bad parenting going on around us. Our seating order was: Cristin, Jason, Becca, Montgomery. Both Cristin and I were seated next to some real winners.
Adjacent to Cristin was some little kid with a soda in a cup sans lid. I think you can see where this is going. So within a few minutes he spills soda directly into her purse. Not near it, not on it - directly into it. I felt really bad for her. And I later learned that she purchased the purse whilst in Ireland, which made me feel worse. My sympathy was quickly turned to disgust by the response of the parents. They didn’t apologize, they didn’t tell their kid to apologize, they didn’t scold the kid for being irresponsible, and they didn’t offer to pay for cleaning. They really didn’t do anything at all. They just sat there, continuing to shovel popcorn into their mouths. Popcorn which the kid later spilled all over the floor – again to no punishment. Good job folks. Don’t teach your kid any personal responsibility. I’m sure he’ll grow up to be the guy who gets fired from Taco Bell for shooting people with the sour cream gun.
My neighbors were a more subtle form of bad parents. The crazy religious nuts. They were having a discussion about Harry Potter (the new book being released the night before) and how it is corrupting children. Obviously by turning them into heathen little witches. Wow. Your bigotry and intolerance know no bounds, reaching all the way to a children’s fantasy book. A book for entertainment.
One of the women was outraged at the fact that “spell kits” were on sale next to the book. Which would further corrupt the moral fiber of their children, of course. Man, you are crazy. That “spell kit” (which was probably a goofy little book packaged with some string and candles) would do one of two things. It might show them spells don’t actually work when they tried to use it (if they took it seriously), which would send them right back to Christianity. Which has its own form of crazy mystical mumbo jumbo. Or it would allow them to pretend to be witches (if they didn’t take it seriously), fostering creativity. Now which one of those would be so terrible?
The other woman didn’t mind the spell kits. Her big problem was that the Official Harry Potter Website linked to real occult websites. Curious, I did a little research. The Warner Brothers site had no links at all. Okay, she must be referring to the JK Rowling website. My results were less than surprising. No occult sites at all. Unless Christopher Little, Literary Agent is the leader of some evil, Devil worshipping sect. Or maybe she was referring to such hideous charities as the MS Society, Amnesty International and One Parent Families. Actually, based on her ramblings, that last one might be considered an evil cult.
After their brilliant repartee, they summed everything up by saying, “You know, the devil’s stock is on the rise.” That’s just an amusing thing to hear. I didn’t think these people actually existed. I thought they were just invented by David Cross to make jokes about on the Mr. Show or during his stand-up comedy. So I looked it up, and you know what, you can’t actually buy stock in the Devil. And I got some funny looks from my broker when I asked. They might have been referring to Pinnacle Foods, owner of Duncan Hines, makers of Devil’s Food Cake mixes. But they aren’t publicly traded. Maybe the women were making a subtle jab at Microsoft/Bill Gates. Who knows.
And what’s so wrong with Wicca (the closest thing to “Witchcraft”)? According to Religious Tolerance, Wiccans follow the Wiccan Rede: "do whatever you wish, as long as you harm nobody, including yourself." The only drug they endorse is wine and they advocate monogamy. Where does the evil part come in?
So, those parents are also real winners. There kids will probably turn out to be super-bigots and maybe members of an Extremist Group (Neo-Nazi or KKK is my guess). Or they will be the ultra-rebellious type – dressed all in black, desperate for attention and doing anything to piss of their parents. Hooray for America’s Youth!
Sorry about the title of this post. I feel like one of those real cheesy, hackneyed movie reviewers. “Fantastic Four is Fantastic Fun!”
More disturbing than the boat scene from the original is the shockingly bad parenting going on around us. Our seating order was: Cristin, Jason, Becca, Montgomery. Both Cristin and I were seated next to some real winners.
Adjacent to Cristin was some little kid with a soda in a cup sans lid. I think you can see where this is going. So within a few minutes he spills soda directly into her purse. Not near it, not on it - directly into it. I felt really bad for her. And I later learned that she purchased the purse whilst in Ireland, which made me feel worse. My sympathy was quickly turned to disgust by the response of the parents. They didn’t apologize, they didn’t tell their kid to apologize, they didn’t scold the kid for being irresponsible, and they didn’t offer to pay for cleaning. They really didn’t do anything at all. They just sat there, continuing to shovel popcorn into their mouths. Popcorn which the kid later spilled all over the floor – again to no punishment. Good job folks. Don’t teach your kid any personal responsibility. I’m sure he’ll grow up to be the guy who gets fired from Taco Bell for shooting people with the sour cream gun.
My neighbors were a more subtle form of bad parents. The crazy religious nuts. They were having a discussion about Harry Potter (the new book being released the night before) and how it is corrupting children. Obviously by turning them into heathen little witches. Wow. Your bigotry and intolerance know no bounds, reaching all the way to a children’s fantasy book. A book for entertainment.
One of the women was outraged at the fact that “spell kits” were on sale next to the book. Which would further corrupt the moral fiber of their children, of course. Man, you are crazy. That “spell kit” (which was probably a goofy little book packaged with some string and candles) would do one of two things. It might show them spells don’t actually work when they tried to use it (if they took it seriously), which would send them right back to Christianity. Which has its own form of crazy mystical mumbo jumbo. Or it would allow them to pretend to be witches (if they didn’t take it seriously), fostering creativity. Now which one of those would be so terrible?
The other woman didn’t mind the spell kits. Her big problem was that the Official Harry Potter Website linked to real occult websites. Curious, I did a little research. The Warner Brothers site had no links at all. Okay, she must be referring to the JK Rowling website. My results were less than surprising. No occult sites at all. Unless Christopher Little, Literary Agent is the leader of some evil, Devil worshipping sect. Or maybe she was referring to such hideous charities as the MS Society, Amnesty International and One Parent Families. Actually, based on her ramblings, that last one might be considered an evil cult.
After their brilliant repartee, they summed everything up by saying, “You know, the devil’s stock is on the rise.” That’s just an amusing thing to hear. I didn’t think these people actually existed. I thought they were just invented by David Cross to make jokes about on the Mr. Show or during his stand-up comedy. So I looked it up, and you know what, you can’t actually buy stock in the Devil. And I got some funny looks from my broker when I asked. They might have been referring to Pinnacle Foods, owner of Duncan Hines, makers of Devil’s Food Cake mixes. But they aren’t publicly traded. Maybe the women were making a subtle jab at Microsoft/Bill Gates. Who knows.
And what’s so wrong with Wicca (the closest thing to “Witchcraft”)? According to Religious Tolerance, Wiccans follow the Wiccan Rede: "do whatever you wish, as long as you harm nobody, including yourself." The only drug they endorse is wine and they advocate monogamy. Where does the evil part come in?
So, those parents are also real winners. There kids will probably turn out to be super-bigots and maybe members of an Extremist Group (Neo-Nazi or KKK is my guess). Or they will be the ultra-rebellious type – dressed all in black, desperate for attention and doing anything to piss of their parents. Hooray for America’s Youth!
Sorry about the title of this post. I feel like one of those real cheesy, hackneyed movie reviewers. “Fantastic Four is Fantastic Fun!”
posted by Montgomery at 2:08 PM
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