"John" Hancock
Legal Counsel and I were at the Borders in Park Mall the other day. She was looking at books and being smart. I was looking at books and pretending to be smart (I don't know how to read). Well, being around those words for so long caused a buildup of knowledge, which I needed to release in liquid form. Whilst in the bathroom stall, I saw the following message:
Upon seing this communiqué, my mind swarmed with questions. First and foremost, a question which always enters my head when I see this kind of graffiti. If you're going to tag your name on something, why a bathroom? Do you really want people to associate your name with defecation? Is your ultimate goal in life to have somebody see your name while sitting on a toilet? Scrawling your name in a public place is one thing. A freeway sign, the wall of an adult book store and the front of the White House all make some sense. But the crapper? Come on, people. Maybe take the next step and write your name in the bowl.
Maybe it's just boredom while in the WC, which we all get, that leads to writing your signature in the John. But these people willingly bring a writing instrument into the restroom, showing malice of forethought. But if you've already got the tool and the time, why not do something creative? Write a clever limerick. Recreate the Mona Lisa. Solve the Goldbach Conjecture. Just be original.
Another question arises from my own pseudo-jealousy. How can I get my group of friends to adopt a Team Name. Legal Counsel's crew call themselves the Scooby Gang, which is pretty cool. But how do you start that nomenclature and get it to stick? I've tried at various points to call my circles (friends, lab groups, etc) "Team Awesome," but it never sticks. Unfortunately. Which is a shame, since I could then be Captain Awesome. I'm a master of nicknames, but only on a 1 person level. I need to figure the group name method. But I have to say, naming yourselves "Lost Soulz" is a serious cry for help. Why not just call yourselves, "Guys Who are Desperate for Parental Involvement"?
And I've always wondered how the s-to-z conversion occurs. Whilst picking names, does this exchange occur:
J*Boogie: Wouldn't it be cool if we replaced the s with a z in SOULS?
Francois: How would LOST ZOULS be cool?
Dieter: No, you jackass, he meant LOST SOULZ. Which I think is cool.
Francois: Oh...right...that's cool...
J*Boogie: (muttering to himself) Actually, I did mean LOST ZOULS. Ouch, my feelings...
I, for one, wouldn't have the guts to suggest the Z-switch. You put yourself at risk for serious mocking if it doesn't catch on. The same goes for throwing in X's (Applejacks->Applejax, which is a cool gang name) or dropping E's (Extreme Philanthropists->Xtreme Philanthropists). None of those spelling switches are cool, yet they keep popping up. How and why?
Maybe the misspelling comes as an accident. One guy in the group, let's call him Saul, doesn't actually know how to spell the team name. Then it just propogates, either to maintain consistency, to make Saul feel less dumb or because they actually think it's cool. Who knows what the case is for Lost Zouls. My guess is that none of them know how to spell.
I have no problem with J*Boogie. That's actually a pretty cool nickname.
Lost Soulz
J*Boogie
Upon seing this communiqué, my mind swarmed with questions. First and foremost, a question which always enters my head when I see this kind of graffiti. If you're going to tag your name on something, why a bathroom? Do you really want people to associate your name with defecation? Is your ultimate goal in life to have somebody see your name while sitting on a toilet? Scrawling your name in a public place is one thing. A freeway sign, the wall of an adult book store and the front of the White House all make some sense. But the crapper? Come on, people. Maybe take the next step and write your name in the bowl.
Maybe it's just boredom while in the WC, which we all get, that leads to writing your signature in the John. But these people willingly bring a writing instrument into the restroom, showing malice of forethought. But if you've already got the tool and the time, why not do something creative? Write a clever limerick. Recreate the Mona Lisa. Solve the Goldbach Conjecture. Just be original.
Another question arises from my own pseudo-jealousy. How can I get my group of friends to adopt a Team Name. Legal Counsel's crew call themselves the Scooby Gang, which is pretty cool. But how do you start that nomenclature and get it to stick? I've tried at various points to call my circles (friends, lab groups, etc) "Team Awesome," but it never sticks. Unfortunately. Which is a shame, since I could then be Captain Awesome. I'm a master of nicknames, but only on a 1 person level. I need to figure the group name method. But I have to say, naming yourselves "Lost Soulz" is a serious cry for help. Why not just call yourselves, "Guys Who are Desperate for Parental Involvement"?
And I've always wondered how the s-to-z conversion occurs. Whilst picking names, does this exchange occur:
J*Boogie: Wouldn't it be cool if we replaced the s with a z in SOULS?
Francois: How would LOST ZOULS be cool?
Dieter: No, you jackass, he meant LOST SOULZ. Which I think is cool.
Francois: Oh...right...that's cool...
J*Boogie: (muttering to himself) Actually, I did mean LOST ZOULS. Ouch, my feelings...
I, for one, wouldn't have the guts to suggest the Z-switch. You put yourself at risk for serious mocking if it doesn't catch on. The same goes for throwing in X's (Applejacks->Applejax, which is a cool gang name) or dropping E's (Extreme Philanthropists->Xtreme Philanthropists). None of those spelling switches are cool, yet they keep popping up. How and why?
Maybe the misspelling comes as an accident. One guy in the group, let's call him Saul, doesn't actually know how to spell the team name. Then it just propogates, either to maintain consistency, to make Saul feel less dumb or because they actually think it's cool. Who knows what the case is for Lost Zouls. My guess is that none of them know how to spell.
I have no problem with J*Boogie. That's actually a pretty cool nickname.
posted by Montgomery at 12:59 PM
7 Comments:
It's actually "malice aforethought"
Damn. That's what I get for trying to pick up legal jargon in a casual setting. At least it sounds right when I say it out loud - I just shouldn't write any motions. I'll leave it in there as "malice of forethought" to show I don't know what I'm taling about. Who was that? Flynn?
And why does everybody think I need mortgages? Don't you people think 8 is enough? They're not even on houses I own...
It's actually "talking", not "taling"
Yes. Thank you.
That's now at least 2 blogs this week that make fun of my lack of brain power.
At least 2. Probably more that you don't know of. What was the other blog?
I kid, Saul. You know I wouldn't say it if it was true. You the man.
I love you, too, Colan.
Your blog, my blog, and Deej's blog - but Deej's was more an attempt at a back handed bitch slap, not an insult on my intelligence.
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