Cross-Sectional Area
Last Thursday, the gang and I went to see a free preview of a movie. And not just any movie. We saw CSA: The Confederate States of America. The premise of this "mockumentary" is that the south won the civil war (the American civil war), with the help of England and France. It's a Spike Lee joint directed by Kevin Willmott. That's right, the Kevin Willmott. Star of The Search for Inflata-Boy. I hope you were sitting down.
I wanted to see the movie for a myriad of reasons:
The crowd was mostly high school students and old people, like D-Rock's parties. High school students because it was free for students and maybe because it was for class credit. Old people because it was free for seniors and because they probably remember the civil war. And finally there was the Scooby Gang plus SO's, since we loves us the free motion pictures. And because it was at the Loft. Shibby!
By the way, it was free because it was an "educational" program put on by some dude. There was a discussion after.
The movie itself was okay. It took the form of a BBC documentary about American history, complete with racist commercials (which turned out to be real products from the 20th century...and beyond! - at least in Asia: racist, racist Asia). Unfortunately they mixed real history with fake history, making it all that much more difficult for me to distinguish reality from fantasy. Damn schizophrenia. It'll make the American History portion of the board exams much more problematic. At least the talking ficus will comfort me.
The movie was pretty funny at points. The program dude said we laughed because we were uncomfortable. I laughed because I thought it was funny. Oh well. And I thnk the director was trying to make it legitimately funny, regardless of what that dude said. This is Spinal Tap- now there's a mockumentary which made me laugh from awkwardness. Cucumber in tin foil...hehe. There were some uncomfortable points, sure, but mostly it was just an absurdist movie. I'd feel more uncomfortable if it was real history. Or if the director was white.
Speaking of which, a white guy would never get away with this. If Montgomery made this movie, he'd be tarred, feather, hanged, drawn and quartered as a racist. If D-Rock made it...nobody would be surprised. He hates minorities. There's a definite double standard in play, even if whitey had purely altruistic intentions. Which is quite often the case, right guys? Right?
One big problem was that the movie was like a reductio ad absurdum of its own premise. They really took it too far. They decided that if the South won, race would be the only thing on everybody's mind all the time. Like in Crash. Slavery continues. Manifest Destiny spreads to South America. Jewish people are put on reservations. Catholics are barely considered christian, which becomes the national religion. The CSA is allied with the Nazis and doesn't help the rest of Europe. The CSA pulls a Pearl Harbor on Japan instead of vice versa. You see where I'm going? They just took it too far. Trust me, I'm the master of going too far. Sorry, America...
The other problem is that they paint Canada as this perfect Freedomland™. Equality of races, freedom of speech, all that jazz. Oh, right, and jazz music. As a fake Canada-hater, I can't stand for that nonsense. Canadians are a bunch of freedom-hating, Queen-loving, pot-smoking, methane-breathing neanderthals. That's the Queen of England, not the band. Well, the band too I guess. Damn Canucks. They smell.
So the movie was worth the cost of admission, but the discussion after was fun too. The funny thing is, I hate forced discussion of racial issues. I feel like Ted Ferguson after work. But if I go of my own volition, I enjoy it. It started with some old people discussing their racism memories. Unlike most, I enjoy old people stories. At least the first 5 or 6 times. It continued with a bunch of bland non-offensive statements. "We are all equal" "racism shouldn't exist" "kill whitey." Snooze.
Then some kid (high school, I guess) said something to the effect of "why should we teach bilingual education in the US? it's not like they teach it in any other countries." At this point, everybody in the room turned on him. In case you don't know, every other country tries to go bilingual. I was expecting the room to lynch the kid, but verbal abuse is good enough. It quickly got boring again, so we left. And played Munchkin. Score.
All in all, a good night. But I'm really looking forward to this Friday, when we'll be seeing an even more controversial, thought-provoking movie which has a goal of social reform. Slither.
I wanted to see the movie for a myriad of reasons:
1. Spike Lee's joints are always intriguingFree preview, here I come!
2. I like American History, especially the civil war
3. I like historical fiction
4. I'm always looking for an excuse to say "mockumentary"
5. I was wondering if anybody there was actually curious what this alternative history would be like, with hope in their eyes
6. I only need four reasons to meet the Official Montgomery Criterion for Use of the Word Myriad™
The crowd was mostly high school students and old people, like D-Rock's parties. High school students because it was free for students and maybe because it was for class credit. Old people because it was free for seniors and because they probably remember the civil war. And finally there was the Scooby Gang plus SO's, since we loves us the free motion pictures. And because it was at the Loft. Shibby!
By the way, it was free because it was an "educational" program put on by some dude. There was a discussion after.
The movie itself was okay. It took the form of a BBC documentary about American history, complete with racist commercials (which turned out to be real products from the 20th century...and beyond! - at least in Asia: racist, racist Asia). Unfortunately they mixed real history with fake history, making it all that much more difficult for me to distinguish reality from fantasy. Damn schizophrenia. It'll make the American History portion of the board exams much more problematic. At least the talking ficus will comfort me.
The movie was pretty funny at points. The program dude said we laughed because we were uncomfortable. I laughed because I thought it was funny. Oh well. And I thnk the director was trying to make it legitimately funny, regardless of what that dude said. This is Spinal Tap- now there's a mockumentary which made me laugh from awkwardness. Cucumber in tin foil...hehe. There were some uncomfortable points, sure, but mostly it was just an absurdist movie. I'd feel more uncomfortable if it was real history. Or if the director was white.
Speaking of which, a white guy would never get away with this. If Montgomery made this movie, he'd be tarred, feather, hanged, drawn and quartered as a racist. If D-Rock made it...nobody would be surprised. He hates minorities. There's a definite double standard in play, even if whitey had purely altruistic intentions. Which is quite often the case, right guys? Right?
One big problem was that the movie was like a reductio ad absurdum of its own premise. They really took it too far. They decided that if the South won, race would be the only thing on everybody's mind all the time. Like in Crash. Slavery continues. Manifest Destiny spreads to South America. Jewish people are put on reservations. Catholics are barely considered christian, which becomes the national religion. The CSA is allied with the Nazis and doesn't help the rest of Europe. The CSA pulls a Pearl Harbor on Japan instead of vice versa. You see where I'm going? They just took it too far. Trust me, I'm the master of going too far. Sorry, America...
The other problem is that they paint Canada as this perfect Freedomland™. Equality of races, freedom of speech, all that jazz. Oh, right, and jazz music. As a fake Canada-hater, I can't stand for that nonsense. Canadians are a bunch of freedom-hating, Queen-loving, pot-smoking, methane-breathing neanderthals. That's the Queen of England, not the band. Well, the band too I guess. Damn Canucks. They smell.
So the movie was worth the cost of admission, but the discussion after was fun too. The funny thing is, I hate forced discussion of racial issues. I feel like Ted Ferguson after work. But if I go of my own volition, I enjoy it. It started with some old people discussing their racism memories. Unlike most, I enjoy old people stories. At least the first 5 or 6 times. It continued with a bunch of bland non-offensive statements. "We are all equal" "racism shouldn't exist" "kill whitey." Snooze.
Then some kid (high school, I guess) said something to the effect of "why should we teach bilingual education in the US? it's not like they teach it in any other countries." At this point, everybody in the room turned on him. In case you don't know, every other country tries to go bilingual. I was expecting the room to lynch the kid, but verbal abuse is good enough. It quickly got boring again, so we left. And played Munchkin. Score.
All in all, a good night. But I'm really looking forward to this Friday, when we'll be seeing an even more controversial, thought-provoking movie which has a goal of social reform. Slither.
posted by Montgomery at 8:09 PM
3 Comments:
Dude, we do have reservations. Hollywood and Brooklyn spring to mind. And don't forget Del Boca Vista Phase IV. Phase III was for the Italians. We won't talk about Phase I or II...
Ok....You officially crack me up. I love your blog. Keep up the Rantings!!!
Saul: good point.
Peasley: ¡Muchos gracias!
Kate: V for Vendetta was amazing!
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