Mein Coif
Legal Counsel and I were staring at the adorable pictures of Monster and we started discussing his appearance. I'll be honest, it was in a not-so-favorable but still loving manner. What do you call a roast when the subject isn't present? Ah yes, "cruel."
Anyway, we were describing his features and in my head a distorted caricature of the poor child started to develop. And to me, this caricature looked a lot like Wooly Willy. Here he is in all his metal-filing haired glory:
As you can see, he looks nothing like Monster and I was way off base.
But that's not the reason I'm writing to you, my ignoble readers. I'm writing to you because in my pursuit of the Wooly Willy visage, I misspelled his name. I erroneously did a Google Image Search for "Wooly Willie." Fortunately, that's not the name of some bear porn star but the name of the generic Willy knock-off. Here he is in all his copyright-infringement haired shame:
Now if you're anything like me (and god help you if you are), then you immediately saw what hairstyle the ad folks chose for this picture. Adolf Hitler.
The promos for Wooly Willie make him look exactly like Der Fuhrer. Why the hell would they do that?? Exactly what demographic are you marketing to that the Hitler 'Stache is the best way to go? You know what, don't answer that. And the worst part is that shaking the iron-filings away will only turn him into a skinhead, which isn't any better.
Wooly Willie, you are the king of the anti-semite toys. Other anti-semite toys include: Stretch David Duke, GI Roald Dahl*, Mr Potato Head and the entire cast of Guess Who.
BONUS: Wooly Willy Online!
*it's true, look it up.
PS - in doing my research for this post, I discovered my two new favorite names for the mullet: "Kentucky Waterfall" and "Missouri Compromise." I kinda prefer the latter, as it combines the appropriate-ness of "Business in the front, Party in the back" with the trendiness of American History.
Anyway, we were describing his features and in my head a distorted caricature of the poor child started to develop. And to me, this caricature looked a lot like Wooly Willy. Here he is in all his metal-filing haired glory:
As you can see, he looks nothing like Monster and I was way off base.
But that's not the reason I'm writing to you, my ignoble readers. I'm writing to you because in my pursuit of the Wooly Willy visage, I misspelled his name. I erroneously did a Google Image Search for "Wooly Willie." Fortunately, that's not the name of some bear porn star but the name of the generic Willy knock-off. Here he is in all his copyright-infringement haired shame:
Now if you're anything like me (and god help you if you are), then you immediately saw what hairstyle the ad folks chose for this picture. Adolf Hitler.
The promos for Wooly Willie make him look exactly like Der Fuhrer. Why the hell would they do that?? Exactly what demographic are you marketing to that the Hitler 'Stache is the best way to go? You know what, don't answer that. And the worst part is that shaking the iron-filings away will only turn him into a skinhead, which isn't any better.
Wooly Willie, you are the king of the anti-semite toys. Other anti-semite toys include: Stretch David Duke, GI Roald Dahl*, Mr Potato Head and the entire cast of Guess Who.
BONUS: Wooly Willy Online!
*it's true, look it up.
PS - in doing my research for this post, I discovered my two new favorite names for the mullet: "Kentucky Waterfall" and "Missouri Compromise." I kinda prefer the latter, as it combines the appropriate-ness of "Business in the front, Party in the back" with the trendiness of American History.
posted by Montgomery at 9:36 PM
1 Comments:
ok i have to say....every time dr. B says "this house is haunted. And every brick in the house is haunted" i cannot stop myself from thinking that you totally called the uncle fester connection!! great job!!!!
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