Sodalicious
I recently expressed my disdain for Phoenix on this blog, and I stand by my assessment. Especially after driving home on the I-17, mired in traffic for an hour only to find that everyone had slowed down for absolutely nothing. Usually everybody comes to a screeching halt because somebody is changing a tire or because a pigeon has come to rest on the median. but this time, nothing. If you're going to drive like a damned fool, at least have a damned fool reason for doing so.
But recently a ray of sunshine has come to penetrate this festering pile* of a city. Now you might be wondering, "how would a ray of sunshine penetrate a festering pile?" Simple: holes in the ozone layer. Just ask Al Gore. He'll tell you. At great length. Whether you want him to or not. Al, if you're reading this, please leave my house. And if you want Bugles™, go buy some yourself and quit bugging me.
Anyway, the metaphorical ray of sunshine which has penetrated this figurative festering pile is the discovery that Glass Bottled Coke** abounds in this city. Mmm... glass bottled Coke.... In Tucson, you'd have to search for literally minutes to find coke in a glass bottle. But during my stay in Phoenix, I've randomly stumbled onto at least three locations that actively display Coke bottles for sale. You know what, change "randomly stumbled" to "drunkenly stumbled."
If you're sitting at your computer wondering what the big deal is about Coke in a glass bottle, you should be hanged, drawn and quartered. That's right, I'm getting pre-1870 British on your ass. Glass bottle coke is the most del.icio.us thing I've tasted since I stole ambrosia from Hephaestus. Hehe, sucker...
I don't really know why it's so tasty. Maybe they save their best batches for the glass bottles. Or maybe it's psychological. The most likely explanation is that the microscopic silica particles from the glass tear up my mouth and esophagus, allowing for better transfer of flavor. You know, the same reason they put fiberglass in chewing tobacco. I guess that would make bottled coke less delicious and more siliceous. How's that for a fancy pants word?
So I've been indulging in the flavor hoedown that is glass bottled soda, waiting for Legal Counsel to finish the Bar and move up here. Wait a minute, she took the Bar yesterday/today*** and she moves up tonight! Sweet! That'll make two good things in Phoenix. No offense, Phoenix readers. Lots of offense, Phoenix non-readers. Maybe when she gets here I'll take her to Pop the Soda Shop.
It's going to be hard to blog if I'm playing patty-fingers...
*please be fully aware that I exaggerate for creative reasons
**no, D-Rock and Bees, I didn't say glass bottomed boat
***she kicked ass, obviously
But recently a ray of sunshine has come to penetrate this festering pile* of a city. Now you might be wondering, "how would a ray of sunshine penetrate a festering pile?" Simple: holes in the ozone layer. Just ask Al Gore. He'll tell you. At great length. Whether you want him to or not. Al, if you're reading this, please leave my house. And if you want Bugles™, go buy some yourself and quit bugging me.
Anyway, the metaphorical ray of sunshine which has penetrated this figurative festering pile is the discovery that Glass Bottled Coke** abounds in this city. Mmm... glass bottled Coke.... In Tucson, you'd have to search for literally minutes to find coke in a glass bottle. But during my stay in Phoenix, I've randomly stumbled onto at least three locations that actively display Coke bottles for sale. You know what, change "randomly stumbled" to "drunkenly stumbled."
If you're sitting at your computer wondering what the big deal is about Coke in a glass bottle, you should be hanged, drawn and quartered. That's right, I'm getting pre-1870 British on your ass. Glass bottle coke is the most del.icio.us thing I've tasted since I stole ambrosia from Hephaestus. Hehe, sucker...
I don't really know why it's so tasty. Maybe they save their best batches for the glass bottles. Or maybe it's psychological. The most likely explanation is that the microscopic silica particles from the glass tear up my mouth and esophagus, allowing for better transfer of flavor. You know, the same reason they put fiberglass in chewing tobacco. I guess that would make bottled coke less delicious and more siliceous. How's that for a fancy pants word?
So I've been indulging in the flavor hoedown that is glass bottled soda, waiting for Legal Counsel to finish the Bar and move up here. Wait a minute, she took the Bar yesterday/today*** and she moves up tonight! Sweet! That'll make two good things in Phoenix. No offense, Phoenix readers. Lots of offense, Phoenix non-readers. Maybe when she gets here I'll take her to Pop the Soda Shop.
It's going to be hard to blog if I'm playing patty-fingers...
*please be fully aware that I exaggerate for creative reasons
**no, D-Rock and Bees, I didn't say glass bottomed boat
***she kicked ass, obviously
posted by Montgomery at 5:59 PM
5 Comments:
Did you say glass bottom boat?
My hopes were up when I mis-read it as glass bottom boat.
PS you should know that since you left Tucson we officially started making Monty's mom jokes instead of D-Rock's mom jokes.
Tucson still rocks more! Because the Costco on the NW side sells the bottle coke by the case. :-)
so now where are you these days?!?
Late post, but most of the glass bottle cokes come from mexico and they use real sugar, it makes it yummy!!
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