Very Merry Unbirthday
Oh wait, it's my actual birthday! Happy birthday to me! It's not proper for a lady to reveal her age, but I will say the following: I can now rent cars, and my car insurance should go down. That is, if I actually paid car insurance.
I decided to read up on birthdays on Wikipedia, that oh-so-credible source of information. It says that birthdays first originated with the "non-Christian cult of Mithras" and was subsequently spread by Roman soldiers. I gotta be honest with you - that's pretty bad-ass.
Of course, not everybody celebrates birthdays. Jehovah's Witnesses, for example, view them as pagan and therefore non-Christian. So in addition to providing countless medical ethics questions regarding blood transfusions, Jehovah's Witnesses are kindof downers.
And Jewish folks, such as my lovely wife's family, celebrate the Bar Mitzvah when a boy turns 13 or Bat Mitzvah when a girl turns 12 (like my friend Ear Loeb). FYI, bar/bat mitzvah translates as "gifts for an awkward adolescent and adults getting plastered" in Hebrew. Since I'm somewhere between male and female, as outlined yesterday, I should celebrate today since it's the sum of the two! Who's going to bring the challah? "Baruch atah Adonai Elohenu..."
Well anyway, I do celebrate burfdays. And I'm going to party like it's my burfday...by studying. But I better get a cake! So help me if I don't get a cake. Our tradition here in the states is to eat cake and sing the exteremely depressing "Happy Birthday to You" song. It sounds like a funeral dirge, I swear. At one point I tried to start a movement to replace the birthday song with "Tom Sawyer" by Rush, but it never caught on. Too many lyrics, I s'pose.
Before I get out of here, let me just put in my endorsement for a few other birthday traditions to be adopted in our society, especially for my birthday.
* funniest country name ever.
I decided to read up on birthdays on Wikipedia, that oh-so-credible source of information. It says that birthdays first originated with the "non-Christian cult of Mithras" and was subsequently spread by Roman soldiers. I gotta be honest with you - that's pretty bad-ass.
Of course, not everybody celebrates birthdays. Jehovah's Witnesses, for example, view them as pagan and therefore non-Christian. So in addition to providing countless medical ethics questions regarding blood transfusions, Jehovah's Witnesses are kindof downers.
And Jewish folks, such as my lovely wife's family, celebrate the Bar Mitzvah when a boy turns 13 or Bat Mitzvah when a girl turns 12 (like my friend Ear Loeb). FYI, bar/bat mitzvah translates as "gifts for an awkward adolescent and adults getting plastered" in Hebrew. Since I'm somewhere between male and female, as outlined yesterday, I should celebrate today since it's the sum of the two! Who's going to bring the challah? "Baruch atah Adonai Elohenu..."
Well anyway, I do celebrate burfdays. And I'm going to party like it's my burfday...by studying. But I better get a cake! So help me if I don't get a cake. Our tradition here in the states is to eat cake and sing the exteremely depressing "Happy Birthday to You" song. It sounds like a funeral dirge, I swear. At one point I tried to start a movement to replace the birthday song with "Tom Sawyer" by Rush, but it never caught on. Too many lyrics, I s'pose.
Before I get out of here, let me just put in my endorsement for a few other birthday traditions to be adopted in our society, especially for my birthday.
- In medieval England, small tokens such as gold coins were baked into birthday cakes. So I better see some damn gold in my cake!
- From Wikipedia: "In Uruguay*, party guests touch the birthday person's shoulder or head following the singing of Happy Birthday to You." So gather round to touch my head, bitches.
- Piñatas. Piñatas f***ing rock.
* funniest country name ever.
posted by Montgomery at 9:03 AM
5 Comments:
Great sense of humor, LMAO.
I did not know that Birthdays were started by the people that worshiped the god Mithra, but I did know that the Mithrian greeting was outstretched arms, and that the cross was originally the sign of Mithras, the sun god, of Roman soldiers and tradesmen.
... and they used to have sunrise services during the spring equinox, where they sacrificed animals and from their entrails tried to predict the future.
Probably Rabbits, looking for candy eggs.
Sheesh...this sounds awfully familiar somehow......
Tom.Rook@Technik-SA.US
Check the Scriptures. Did Jesus ever celebrated his birthday? Kind of downner. Is it not?
Haha - I don't check your blog for months, maybe years, come back to new posts and you insult me! Now that's the Montgomery I know...
Looks like things are going great! Be sure to look me up if you ever head east.
Mesa?
Yeah, head toward Mesa. Go east on Broadway for about 2200 miles.
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