Quest for the Holy Grail

The Wendy's Frosty® is a modern ambrosia. Quite possibly the greatest food, nay item, ever created. To me it tastes the way I imagine blood to taste for a vampire, brains for a zombie, or Vietnamese human livers for John McCain. If the human race had to prove why it should be spared from an hostile alien race, the accomplishments we would show off to prove our worth would be: The Sistine Chapel, the polio vaccine, Appetite for Desruction by Guns N' Roses, the iPhone, and the Frosty®.

Unfortunately, the ingredients to anything that delicious must remain a closely guarded secret. To quote Cecil from Mr Deeds, "I tried to make my own at home, but it wasn't the same." I think the quest for the Frosty® recipe is as old as the quest to turn lead into gold. And because I've never been terribly good at alchemy, my attempts have been unsuccessful. My first try tasted like a bad chocolate milkshake, my second melted the blender, and the third turned my skin inside-out for a week.

But after much research and experimentation, I think I've found it. Like a modern day Nicholas Flamel, I have made a discovery which may change the world. Y'all ready for this?

2 cups Vanilla Iced Cream
1/2 cup Cow Milk (or human, if you're out of cow)
1/4 cup Chocolate Milk Mix
1 egg, just the white (eat the yolk raw, separate from the Frosty®)

Don't get me wrong, it's not an exact replica. It's a little thinner than a Frosty®, so you may want to add some cow hooves. But it's pretty damn close. I think I shall call it the Fauxsty®. Not to be confused with the Faux Sty, which is gross and has a very limited market.

Eat well, my faithful readers. Soon I shall discover the secret of the Taco Bell bean burrito. I just need to find the proper ratio of chihuahua blood to crack cocaine...