Family Matters

This weekend I had the pleasure of going to Florence, AZ with Legal Counsel for her/our nephews' birthday party. For those of you not from here, Florence AZ is a lot like Florence Italy, except instead of world famous art it has a prison, and instead of beautiful architecture it has another prison, and instead of being the birthplace of the Italian Renaissance it has a couple more prisons.

The birthday party was fun, we got to play games and go to a water park. And I gave the kids my usual birthday gift: a heavy dose of reality in the form of my educational pamphlet "Why the Government is Trying to Bring You Down, or how I Can Stop Worrying and Learn to Embrace Montgomery's Anarcho-Syndicalist Ideology." The kids love it. Plus, I'm slowly building my unholy army of the night. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

The highlight of the evening for me was a conversation with Legal Counsel's stepdad. To assist your imagination, he's a jewish guy with a greying Tom Selleck 'stache.

Stacheman: (in the middle of a story about his days as a paramedic) It was welfare check day, so all the indians were drunk...
Montgomery: Whoa! Racist much?
Stacheman: What? The mexicans were drunk, too.
Legal Counsel: That doesn't make it any less racist!
Montgomery: I'm pretty sure it makes it more racist.

True story.

That's two conversation-based posts in a row. Probably trying to remember what it's like to talk to people, because in the Peds ED, most of my conversations go like this:

Montgomery: You're a cute kid, what's your name?
Cute Kid: WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Montgomery:Okay...well mom, what brings you in?
Cute Kid's Mom: WHAAAA!!!!
Montgomery: WAAASSSSSUUUUUPPP!!!!!

On the plus side, I get to practice my wailing. And on my weekends off, I practice my whaling. To the Pequod!

The score: 3/0/7