Irreversible Eye Trauma o' the Day
Not much blogging today due to tons of small group work. Why must med school interfere with my pointless ramblings? At least I learn a lot in small groups. And I'm doing that thing again. You know, the thing where I want to specialize in whatever we're currently learning about. Now I'm going to become a cardiologist!
Anyway, here's the cause of my ocular devastation (hey, that'd be a good nickname for Devin, if he didn't already have Sawa). I was sitting in physio small group, minding my own bidniss. Trying to learn about the heart and how complicated it is from Professor NoBra. You know, learning the cause and diagnosis of ischemia. Honey Bees, who happened to be sitting next to me, turned and mused to me, "I wonder if we'll learn about diagnosing her camel toe."
Before the higher cortical centers of my brain could cause my neck and extraocular muscles to shut down, preventing me from looking, my reflexes caused me to glance. Worst mistake ever. I saw it. And I don't think I'll ever be able to get that horrible image out of my brain. Unless I use the amnesia ray, aka shotgun. I think I've just given myself a case of instantaneous macular degeneration. My eyes will never be the same.
Let me tell you a little more about Honey Bees. The best way to sum him up is with the title I bestowed unto him this very day - "Walking Good Story." He's constantly doing something hilarious and worth repeating (at least to the people who know him). Not intentionally funny, or even commendable, just worthy of a laugh. Here's a series of vignettes entitled "A Swarm of Unfortunate Events."
The Deafening Door
When we first years rush downstairs during our ten minute breaks for a quick game of foosball, the door to the second year lecture hall is sometimes open. And they're usually in the middle of lecture. Time to move by quickly and silently, right? Not Honey Bees. Every time the door is open he shouts something loudly down the hallway before noticing. Such things as, "I'm hungry!" or "Hey D-rock, what's up?" or "Why does it burn when I pee?" Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
The Embarrassed Elevator
Bees, D-Rock, Ah Jota, Sawa, John Deere and myself were riding the elevator to the 8th floor for a lecture. Also in the elevator were several old ladies and a random doctor. For whatever reason, Ah Jota made mention of me being on “Double Secret Probation” – an Animal House reference. Honey Bees, with his infinite social graces, decides to say “Then you get to have sex with the Dean’s wife” in his loud Bee voice (the exact phraseology is under debate, but that’s the gist). It automatically became the Most Uncomfortable Ride Ever™. Luckily the really old lady in the Rascal scooter had gotten off already. I tried to hide my ID badge from the other riders. Then, I diffused the situation the only way I knew how – by singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.” Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
The Graceless Group
Honey Bees has a tendency to say and do inappropriate things during physio small group. Example the first: during our first group, he was sitting in the row ahead of me. I answered a question correctly and he put his fist over his shoulder towards me for the celebratory fist bump, aka “throwing up his rock fist.” The prof immediately inquired, “do you have a question?” To which he replied “That was just a pre-emptive fist bump” and he was laughed at. Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
Example the second: today, Prof. NoBra accidentally mispronounced “Cody” as “Coie” (and I’d like to say living with law students has tainted me, since I instantly thought Perkins Coie). Bees quickly turns around and starts calling him “Coie” from halfway across the room in a mocking tone. The professor then says “Hey, you shouldn’t make fun of him…or me for that matter.” Busted. Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
Example the third: also today. The professor is lecturing and she asks, “Where will the dipole go?” Bess shouts out an answer just like the rest of the class. Only his answer was “Down to Fraggle Rock.” I suppose it’s half my fault for singing that theme song a few minutes earlier. He turns to me and asks, “that was kind of loud, wasn’t it?” Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure there are more. I’ll add them later if I remember.
And there was some good news from SBS small group. The other day, one of the professors said that all paraphilias except pedophilia are exclusively male phenomena (ie voyeurism, sadism, masochism, etc) and that only males can get aroused by watching adult materials (trying to keep the p-word out of searches). That didn’t sit to well with me. When I discussed it with the Scooby-Doobies, they also didn’t agree (which was most important coming from the ladies).
The other professor was facilitating my group today, so I asked him his opinion. He also disagreed with the first professor, and said that it is mostly male but not entirely. He also said that the first professor’s distinctions between men and women used to be much more clear cut. So he’s getting better, which is nice. Old people. I tell ya…
Wait…did I say taint earlier? Hehe, I almost missed it.
Anyway, here's the cause of my ocular devastation (hey, that'd be a good nickname for Devin, if he didn't already have Sawa). I was sitting in physio small group, minding my own bidniss. Trying to learn about the heart and how complicated it is from Professor NoBra. You know, learning the cause and diagnosis of ischemia. Honey Bees, who happened to be sitting next to me, turned and mused to me, "I wonder if we'll learn about diagnosing her camel toe."
Before the higher cortical centers of my brain could cause my neck and extraocular muscles to shut down, preventing me from looking, my reflexes caused me to glance. Worst mistake ever. I saw it. And I don't think I'll ever be able to get that horrible image out of my brain. Unless I use the amnesia ray, aka shotgun. I think I've just given myself a case of instantaneous macular degeneration. My eyes will never be the same.
Let me tell you a little more about Honey Bees. The best way to sum him up is with the title I bestowed unto him this very day - "Walking Good Story." He's constantly doing something hilarious and worth repeating (at least to the people who know him). Not intentionally funny, or even commendable, just worthy of a laugh. Here's a series of vignettes entitled "A Swarm of Unfortunate Events."
The Deafening Door
When we first years rush downstairs during our ten minute breaks for a quick game of foosball, the door to the second year lecture hall is sometimes open. And they're usually in the middle of lecture. Time to move by quickly and silently, right? Not Honey Bees. Every time the door is open he shouts something loudly down the hallway before noticing. Such things as, "I'm hungry!" or "Hey D-rock, what's up?" or "Why does it burn when I pee?" Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
The Embarrassed Elevator
Bees, D-Rock, Ah Jota, Sawa, John Deere and myself were riding the elevator to the 8th floor for a lecture. Also in the elevator were several old ladies and a random doctor. For whatever reason, Ah Jota made mention of me being on “Double Secret Probation” – an Animal House reference. Honey Bees, with his infinite social graces, decides to say “Then you get to have sex with the Dean’s wife” in his loud Bee voice (the exact phraseology is under debate, but that’s the gist). It automatically became the Most Uncomfortable Ride Ever™. Luckily the really old lady in the Rascal scooter had gotten off already. I tried to hide my ID badge from the other riders. Then, I diffused the situation the only way I knew how – by singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.” Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
The Graceless Group
Honey Bees has a tendency to say and do inappropriate things during physio small group. Example the first: during our first group, he was sitting in the row ahead of me. I answered a question correctly and he put his fist over his shoulder towards me for the celebratory fist bump, aka “throwing up his rock fist.” The prof immediately inquired, “do you have a question?” To which he replied “That was just a pre-emptive fist bump” and he was laughed at. Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
Example the second: today, Prof. NoBra accidentally mispronounced “Cody” as “Coie” (and I’d like to say living with law students has tainted me, since I instantly thought Perkins Coie). Bees quickly turns around and starts calling him “Coie” from halfway across the room in a mocking tone. The professor then says “Hey, you shouldn’t make fun of him…or me for that matter.” Busted. Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
Example the third: also today. The professor is lecturing and she asks, “Where will the dipole go?” Bess shouts out an answer just like the rest of the class. Only his answer was “Down to Fraggle Rock.” I suppose it’s half my fault for singing that theme song a few minutes earlier. He turns to me and asks, “that was kind of loud, wasn’t it?” Obviously we mocked him immediately after.
That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure there are more. I’ll add them later if I remember.
And there was some good news from SBS small group. The other day, one of the professors said that all paraphilias except pedophilia are exclusively male phenomena (ie voyeurism, sadism, masochism, etc) and that only males can get aroused by watching adult materials (trying to keep the p-word out of searches). That didn’t sit to well with me. When I discussed it with the Scooby-Doobies, they also didn’t agree (which was most important coming from the ladies).
The other professor was facilitating my group today, so I asked him his opinion. He also disagreed with the first professor, and said that it is mostly male but not entirely. He also said that the first professor’s distinctions between men and women used to be much more clear cut. So he’s getting better, which is nice. Old people. I tell ya…
Wait…did I say taint earlier? Hehe, I almost missed it.
posted by Montgomery at 5:07 PM
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