Nifty Fifties
This weekend Legal Counsel, Areenos, jPod and myself had the honor and privilege of feasting at 5 & Diner. In case you are unaware, 5 & Diner is a chronology themed restaurant. Namely, it is based on the 50s. I'm a fan of restaurants which have a theme. They're fun. Mexican restaurants make my simple brain believe that I'm in the Land of Enchantment...and that I shouldn't be drinking water. Japanese restaurants make me weary of Godzilla attacks. Well, more weary than my basal layer of fear. Italian restaurants make feel like selling bootleg hooch and running a casino.
Now that I think about it, the only "theme" most restaurants have is the country from which the food originates. And I usually fabricate a theme based on horrible stereotypes. The only real exception is 50s diners. I don't know why, but the 1950s is a popular target for restaurant decor. 5 & Diner, Broadway Cafe, at least two Walt Disney World eateries...50s restaurants are as popular now as Polynesian restaurants in the mid to late 1960s. Hmm...kind of a weird reference. Let's rewind and try again: s0691 etal ot dim eht ne stnaruatser naisenyloP sa won ralupop sa era stnaruatser s05; 50s themes in restauarants are as common now as STDs in D-Rock's mom. There, much better.
Like I said, I don't know why they're around. Maybe because the 1940s were filled with The War to End All Wars and the 1960s were filled with more war. Okay, so the 50s had a war too. But if that documentary† I watched is accurate, that war was mostly jokes, pranks and frivolity. The 70s were too kitschy, the 30s were depressing, and a 20s themed restaurant would leave you broke at the end of your meal. My only hope is that one day I can open a late-80s/early-90s themed restaurant. But it would probably end up looking like "The Max" and I'd end up getting sued by Sam Bobrick. Maybe I can open an 1850s themed restaurant franchise. Yes...we can call it Manifest Destin-Eateries™.
It's not much different than a regular restaurant. But you know what the funniest thing about 5 & Diner is? [What?] It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit in other restaurants, they got there, but they're a little different. [Examples?] Well, at the 5 & Diner they've got all the normal American food, but the female staff where's big skirts and the male staff has 1.3 pounds of grease in their hair. They've also got tons o' jukeboxes and pictures of 50s celebrities.
But there are some major differences between the restaurant and the real world. Here's a brief list:
Segregation still exists (Civil Rights Act - 1964). So the whole restaurant is divided by race to complete the atmosphere. It's really bizarre. On a related note: if you want to sweeten your coffee, your options are "sugar" and "Separate but Equal."
Poll taxes...still okay (Amendment XXIV - 1964). You gotta pay if you wanna play. This is why there are no voting booths at the 5 & Diner. Trust me, I tried to vote there last year and got escorted out by the police. Which brings me to...
The police don't have to read you your rights if you're arrested on 5 & Diner property (Miranda v Arizona - 1966). Don't try to escape the po-po at the restaurant.
Much less concern for "healthy" foods. Bring on the grease! Not from your hair, Fonzie.
The building isn't handicap accessible (Americans with Disabilities Act - 1990). Chairs in the 50s didn't have wheels. Deal with it.
Smoking is still healthy (Surgeon General Report - 1964). It's not unhealthy until the Surgeon General says so. Therefore I have a 50 pack-year habit at this restaurant. Mmm...menthol...
Peoples not served: Russians, Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese...you know what? Let's just say no Asians.
Much more lax health codes. Jibbly...
Waiters didn't get tipped in the 1950s, so you don't have to tip there.* Sweet!
All in all, an interesting eating experience geared greatly toward rich white people. Why wouldn't you theme a restaurant after an era of naivety and discrimination? Hooray for the 50s!
This post was full of obscure references and historical trivia. Am I getting weirder or is the rest of the world getting more normal? Hopefully the former...
†Montgomery thinks M*A*S*H is a documentary. Nobody has had the heart to tell him otherwise.
*This sentence is wrong on at least two levels.
Now that I think about it, the only "theme" most restaurants have is the country from which the food originates. And I usually fabricate a theme based on horrible stereotypes. The only real exception is 50s diners. I don't know why, but the 1950s is a popular target for restaurant decor. 5 & Diner, Broadway Cafe, at least two Walt Disney World eateries...50s restaurants are as popular now as Polynesian restaurants in the mid to late 1960s. Hmm...kind of a weird reference. Let's rewind and try again: s0691 etal ot dim eht ne stnaruatser naisenyloP sa won ralupop sa era stnaruatser s05; 50s themes in restauarants are as common now as STDs in D-Rock's mom. There, much better.
Like I said, I don't know why they're around. Maybe because the 1940s were filled with The War to End All Wars and the 1960s were filled with more war. Okay, so the 50s had a war too. But if that documentary† I watched is accurate, that war was mostly jokes, pranks and frivolity. The 70s were too kitschy, the 30s were depressing, and a 20s themed restaurant would leave you broke at the end of your meal. My only hope is that one day I can open a late-80s/early-90s themed restaurant. But it would probably end up looking like "The Max" and I'd end up getting sued by Sam Bobrick. Maybe I can open an 1850s themed restaurant franchise. Yes...we can call it Manifest Destin-Eateries™.
It's not much different than a regular restaurant. But you know what the funniest thing about 5 & Diner is? [What?] It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit in other restaurants, they got there, but they're a little different. [Examples?] Well, at the 5 & Diner they've got all the normal American food, but the female staff where's big skirts and the male staff has 1.3 pounds of grease in their hair. They've also got tons o' jukeboxes and pictures of 50s celebrities.
But there are some major differences between the restaurant and the real world. Here's a brief list:
Segregation still exists (Civil Rights Act - 1964). So the whole restaurant is divided by race to complete the atmosphere. It's really bizarre. On a related note: if you want to sweeten your coffee, your options are "sugar" and "Separate but Equal."
Poll taxes...still okay (Amendment XXIV - 1964). You gotta pay if you wanna play. This is why there are no voting booths at the 5 & Diner. Trust me, I tried to vote there last year and got escorted out by the police. Which brings me to...
The police don't have to read you your rights if you're arrested on 5 & Diner property (Miranda v Arizona - 1966). Don't try to escape the po-po at the restaurant.
Much less concern for "healthy" foods. Bring on the grease! Not from your hair, Fonzie.
The building isn't handicap accessible (Americans with Disabilities Act - 1990). Chairs in the 50s didn't have wheels. Deal with it.
Smoking is still healthy (Surgeon General Report - 1964). It's not unhealthy until the Surgeon General says so. Therefore I have a 50 pack-year habit at this restaurant. Mmm...menthol...
Peoples not served: Russians, Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese...you know what? Let's just say no Asians.
Much more lax health codes. Jibbly...
Waiters didn't get tipped in the 1950s, so you don't have to tip there.* Sweet!
All in all, an interesting eating experience geared greatly toward rich white people. Why wouldn't you theme a restaurant after an era of naivety and discrimination? Hooray for the 50s!
This post was full of obscure references and historical trivia. Am I getting weirder or is the rest of the world getting more normal? Hopefully the former...
†Montgomery thinks M*A*S*H is a documentary. Nobody has had the heart to tell him otherwise.
*This sentence is wrong on at least two levels.
posted by Montgomery at 8:05 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home