Noodle, use your noodle
Last week, Legal Counsel invited her family over for a night of fun and frivolity to celebrate her sister's birthday. Her family includes: a mother, a stepfather, two sisters, one brother-in-law, one sister's significant other, one seven year old, one six year old, one four year old, one almost-three year old and an itty bitty baby. It's amazing how un-stressful it is to have 5 children running/crawling around trying their best to destroy all the things you've done your best to keep in good condition. It's also nice to have one family unit spew complaints from the moment they enter until the moment they leave. Yes...a good night.
Anyway, part of the night was dedicated to playing Cranium. In case you've never played and have never been to a Starbucks, let me enlighten you: Cranium is a wicked fun game involving charades, sculpting, drawing, colonics, humming, trivia knowledge, whistles, yo-yos and various other fun stuffs. A good time is had by all. Well, that is if everybody wants to play...
You see, whenever Legal Counsel and I are on a team against her family, we win. This invariably leads to hostility. There are various explanations for why this happens. Some say it is because her brother-in-law is too full of machismo to have fun and impersonate Marilyn Monroe. Some say it is because having a certain unnamed family member on your team spells instant defeat. There have even been some accusations of telepathy. Right, like Legal Counsel and I have ESPN. Please. They know too much...
The most common explanation is our college education. Her sister usually claims that we win because we are better educated. Phrases like, "Of course the doctor and lawyer will get that" are common. All because she is the only member of her family to receive education past high school. Obviously they don't realize that I've cheated and/or bribed my way through every year of school since second grade. Damn spelling tests.
No the real reason we win is much simpler than any of those. Put simply: we share the same misconceptions. We don't know all the right answers. We just know the same wrong ones.
Example the First
The card instructed one person on each team to hum the same song to their teammate; the first person to guess correctly wins. In this case, the song was "The William Tell Overture." First off, let me say that it's hilarious to hear 4 people hum one song. Anyway, Legal Counsel started to hum (of all things) the theme to Bonanza. So my first guess is "Theme to Bonanza," of course. She shakes her head and continues humming the theme to Bonanza. My next guess? "The William Tell Overture," obviously.
Why? I'm not really sure. Probably because I associate that song with westerns (most likely on account of The Lone Ranger). When my guess of Bonanza for the theme to Bonanza is wrong, the next place my mind goes is The William Tell Overture. Duh.
Example the Second
It was charades, again for every team (they're not all competitions between all teams, by the way. Some are one team, timed). The clue was "Person" and the answer was Jacques Cousteau. Legal Counsel (who did not recognize the name) starts acting like a mime. A mime. You know, stuck in a box/pulling a rope/begging for free money. After suppressing my urge to punch her in the face (as a result of my hatred for all things mime), I guess Marcel Marceau. Wrong.
She starts getting frustrated and then I notice her mom making swimming motions - still consistent with those disgusting voiceless performers. But I guess Jacques Cousteau. Winner winner, chicken dinner. Again sharing the same wrong ideas with my lovely girlfriend, I always assume that a Freedom name I don't recognize is probably a mime.
Of course there are other random inside jokes and past experiences which help us out. If she was to say, "D-Rock's mom," I'd know the answer is probably prostitute or slut or junkie or CPA. I can probably identify anything related to Disney theme parks or zombies, while she has the subjects of uncooked seafood and late-18th century Gothic literature covered. She also knows the definitions of words like "flout," which elude your humble narrator. But for the most part, we win because we are both dangerously misinformed.
On a totally unrelated note
In the past year, I've personally purchased at least three nail clippers. Do you know where they are now? Yeah, me neither. They keep disappearing! What is going on here? It's some kind of conspiracy. Maybe I should stop clipping and start sharpening, a la Frodo in Sin City. Sweet...
I've devised the following 3-phase business plan:
1. Collect nail clippers
2. ???
3. Profit!
Anyway, part of the night was dedicated to playing Cranium. In case you've never played and have never been to a Starbucks, let me enlighten you: Cranium is a wicked fun game involving charades, sculpting, drawing, colonics, humming, trivia knowledge, whistles, yo-yos and various other fun stuffs. A good time is had by all. Well, that is if everybody wants to play...
You see, whenever Legal Counsel and I are on a team against her family, we win. This invariably leads to hostility. There are various explanations for why this happens. Some say it is because her brother-in-law is too full of machismo to have fun and impersonate Marilyn Monroe. Some say it is because having a certain unnamed family member on your team spells instant defeat. There have even been some accusations of telepathy. Right, like Legal Counsel and I have ESPN. Please. They know too much...
The most common explanation is our college education. Her sister usually claims that we win because we are better educated. Phrases like, "Of course the doctor and lawyer will get that" are common. All because she is the only member of her family to receive education past high school. Obviously they don't realize that I've cheated and/or bribed my way through every year of school since second grade. Damn spelling tests.
No the real reason we win is much simpler than any of those. Put simply: we share the same misconceptions. We don't know all the right answers. We just know the same wrong ones.
Example the First
The card instructed one person on each team to hum the same song to their teammate; the first person to guess correctly wins. In this case, the song was "The William Tell Overture." First off, let me say that it's hilarious to hear 4 people hum one song. Anyway, Legal Counsel started to hum (of all things) the theme to Bonanza. So my first guess is "Theme to Bonanza," of course. She shakes her head and continues humming the theme to Bonanza. My next guess? "The William Tell Overture," obviously.
Why? I'm not really sure. Probably because I associate that song with westerns (most likely on account of The Lone Ranger). When my guess of Bonanza for the theme to Bonanza is wrong, the next place my mind goes is The William Tell Overture. Duh.
Example the Second
It was charades, again for every team (they're not all competitions between all teams, by the way. Some are one team, timed). The clue was "Person" and the answer was Jacques Cousteau. Legal Counsel (who did not recognize the name) starts acting like a mime. A mime. You know, stuck in a box/pulling a rope/begging for free money. After suppressing my urge to punch her in the face (as a result of my hatred for all things mime), I guess Marcel Marceau. Wrong.
She starts getting frustrated and then I notice her mom making swimming motions - still consistent with those disgusting voiceless performers. But I guess Jacques Cousteau. Winner winner, chicken dinner. Again sharing the same wrong ideas with my lovely girlfriend, I always assume that a Freedom name I don't recognize is probably a mime.
Of course there are other random inside jokes and past experiences which help us out. If she was to say, "D-Rock's mom," I'd know the answer is probably prostitute or slut or junkie or CPA. I can probably identify anything related to Disney theme parks or zombies, while she has the subjects of uncooked seafood and late-18th century Gothic literature covered. She also knows the definitions of words like "flout," which elude your humble narrator. But for the most part, we win because we are both dangerously misinformed.
On a totally unrelated note
In the past year, I've personally purchased at least three nail clippers. Do you know where they are now? Yeah, me neither. They keep disappearing! What is going on here? It's some kind of conspiracy. Maybe I should stop clipping and start sharpening, a la Frodo in Sin City. Sweet...
I've devised the following 3-phase business plan:
1. Collect nail clippers
2. ???
3. Profit!
posted by Montgomery at 2:18 PM
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