Autism-Quixotic Investigation
I'm not sure if I've officially discussed my summer plans on here, so I'll do that now. After all, it is the reason I've been slacking on this blog. Well, that and binge drinking. And Free Cell. And pogs. And amateur taxidermy.
As you might surmise from my (hopefully) giggle-inducing title, I'm researching autism. It's an interesting project for lots of reasons: nobody knows what causes it, many adults with autism say it's just a personality trait (not a disorder), and because it's used as a plot device in tons of TV shows and movies. Anything with a pop culture tie-in is okay in my book. Apparently I've got a book. I'll title it Things that are okay, by Montgomery. #1 in that book will be zombies.
It's a sweet gig. I got all my NIH grant money up front, which is nice. And I've got access to an unstoppable army of autistic savants with which to double said grant money at Desert Diamond Casino. Plus, all the data has been collected so I get to work mostly out of the home. It's going to give me some kind of sick pleasure knowing that people are reading data analysis I performed whilst bare-ass naked. Muahaha...
Before you get your hopes up, realize that I'm not going to be curing anything or solving some big mystery. My research mostly relates to factors which impact the age of diagnosis. Why might a kid not diagnosed until late in life? Besides going to a doctor that works from the back of a van behind Sears, of course. That guy also gives free mammograms, by the way. He's full coverage and he accepts HMOs...exclusively. Just tell him Montgomery sent you.
Random tidbit: there are quite a few famous people with autism spectrum disorders, I've discovered. Daryl Hannah, aka Elle Driver, aka California Mountain Snake was diagnosed as 'borderline autistic.' Dan Aykroyd claims to have Asperger syndrome (the same thing Allantois probably has). Satoshi Tajiri invented Pokemon and he has Asperger, as well as a last name containing many dotted letters. And who can forget Marimba legend Thristan Mendoza? I know I can't...
At the end of the day, my brain usually feels melty from staring at numbers on my computer screen all day. That's usually why I don't write. And why I'm thinking of cutting this post short right now. Plus, it's binge drinking time...
As you might surmise from my (hopefully) giggle-inducing title, I'm researching autism. It's an interesting project for lots of reasons: nobody knows what causes it, many adults with autism say it's just a personality trait (not a disorder), and because it's used as a plot device in tons of TV shows and movies. Anything with a pop culture tie-in is okay in my book. Apparently I've got a book. I'll title it Things that are okay, by Montgomery. #1 in that book will be zombies.
It's a sweet gig. I got all my NIH grant money up front, which is nice. And I've got access to an unstoppable army of autistic savants with which to double said grant money at Desert Diamond Casino. Plus, all the data has been collected so I get to work mostly out of the home. It's going to give me some kind of sick pleasure knowing that people are reading data analysis I performed whilst bare-ass naked. Muahaha...
Before you get your hopes up, realize that I'm not going to be curing anything or solving some big mystery. My research mostly relates to factors which impact the age of diagnosis. Why might a kid not diagnosed until late in life? Besides going to a doctor that works from the back of a van behind Sears, of course. That guy also gives free mammograms, by the way. He's full coverage and he accepts HMOs...exclusively. Just tell him Montgomery sent you.
Random tidbit: there are quite a few famous people with autism spectrum disorders, I've discovered. Daryl Hannah, aka Elle Driver, aka California Mountain Snake was diagnosed as 'borderline autistic.' Dan Aykroyd claims to have Asperger syndrome (the same thing Allantois probably has). Satoshi Tajiri invented Pokemon and he has Asperger, as well as a last name containing many dotted letters. And who can forget Marimba legend Thristan Mendoza? I know I can't...
At the end of the day, my brain usually feels melty from staring at numbers on my computer screen all day. That's usually why I don't write. And why I'm thinking of cutting this post short right now. Plus, it's binge drinking time...
posted by Montgomery at 5:19 PM
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