I like two move it, move it

Two weeks and three days ago, I finished my first year of medical school. To celebrate, I did what any young punk full of piss and vinegar would do. I drove over 100 miles the next morning to help a friend move. In this case, that friend was Larkitect.

A little background. Let me say this: Larkin is my boy. Both my dog and my dawg. We go way back. I met little Larkitect (little in this case meaning young, although I could do a short joke. But I won't. I'm better than that. Isn't that right, little guy?) way back in high school. Sophomore year if I remember correctly.

His family moved out here from back east hoping to claim their 65 hectares under the Homestead Act. I was there to comfort them when the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department informed them (at gunpoint) that the Federal Land Policy and Management Act of 1976 ended homesteading in every state but Alaska. Ever since then, he and I have been like this. (I'm crossing my fingers to demonstrate the point, which you can't see. It would make typing difficult, but I still use the hunt-and-peck method)

We were previously two-thirds of the Three Amigos with the now derelict Matthew J. Since MJ's tar/feathering, we have been the Two Amigos. The Ambiguously Gay Duo; if you've spent time around us together, you'd know how fitting that appellation really is. We're BFF. He's the Blue to my Frank "The Tank." The Siegfried to my Roy. The Mario to my Luigi. The Bunsen to my Beaker. Watson to my Crick. Sacco to my Vanzetti. Beaumont to my Fletcher. Burke to my Wills...okay, that's enough.

Long story short - when Larkitect needs my help, I'm all over that like stink on D-Rock. Nevermind the fact that moving a member of the Larkitect family automatically grants you a free Safeway sandwich. So...very...delicious. No, that didn't influence my decision at all.

Let me back up a little. Several weeks previous to this move, I received an eVite from Ange and Larkitect. I was evited to a "Demolition Party" (which I later would refer to as a "wrecking ball," thinking myself oh-so-clever). If you know me, you know my love of destruction. As soon as I read "demo..." I was in. Which is the reason I get sucked into so many demonstrations of tupperware and Pampered Chef gear.

Despite the name, this was no party. It was all a clever ruse intended to get some free labor out of your humble narrator. There was no punch. There was no pie. No balloons or streamers and not a single donkey. They actually made me do work. So next time you're invited to a "Demolition Party" or "Spring Cleaning Party" or "W-2 Party," think twice. That's my only advice.

At least it was the kind of work I enjoy. The kind with crowbars and sledgehammers and power saws. I ripped up all the carpet in the house, helped tear down a wall and smashed the headlamps out of a Mini Cooper. Again - sorry about that, pal. All in all a good day. With a Safeway Sandwich. Drool...

Cut back to two weeks and three days ago. I drive up to Phoenix to join in the festivities of the "Moving Party." Did you guys really have to trick me again? That was just cruel. Again, a fun day. We had an ex-professional mover who helped us fully pack the U-Haul, 3D Tetris style. We discovered horribly putrescent potatoes (awg, rotten). We ate Safeway sandwiches. Another good day.

So I finished up a long, grueling day of labor in the Arizona sun. To celebrate, I did what any young punk full of vinegar would do. I drove over 100 miles back to Tucson to move my own stuff. That's right. Larkitect and I moved on the same day. And I helped move both domiciles.

Fortunately for me, Legal Counsel had moved most of the small stuff by the time I got back. Probably cursing my name with every step. To be fair, I did suggest that we wait or that I blow off Larkitect. But she would have none of it. She's so cute.

The small stuff is the worst, so my moving exploits late Saturday night went by quickly. Just the furniture and some of the straggling small stuff. We were able to get everything moved and the U-Haul returned by the end of the night. And I'm pretty sure the place next door to the U-Haul was getting burglarized when we returned the truck. Suckers...

Let me consult my post of 7 November 2005. I composed the following list of times I've moved myself or others:

Myself
1. Phoenix to Graham-Greenlee, August 2001
2. Graham-Greenlee to Phoenix, May 2002
3. North Phoenix to Norther Phoenix, Summer 2002
4. Phoenix to Kaibab-Huachuca, August 2002
5. Kaibab-Huachuca to Phoenix, May 2003
6. Phoenix to Corleone, July 2003
7. Corleone to Phoenix, May 2004
8. Phoenix to Marana, August 2004
9. Marana to Fox Point, April 2005
10. Fox Point to Chez Scooby, November 2005
Others
1. Gramps, Summer 2001
2. The Larkitect's Family, Summer 2002(?) - hotter than a Dutch Oven, remember Larkitect?
3. Gramps, Summer 2002(?)
4. Gramps, Summer 2004(?)
5. Legal Counsel, Summer 2005
6. Legal Counsel's Sister, Fall 2005

Now add to those 2 lists (respectively):

11. Chez Scooby to Hazen Townhouse, May 2006
and 7. Larkitect and Ange, May 2006

My grand total is now 18 moves in less than 5 years. I'm seriously considering consolidating all my possessions to: my laptop, a Korean War era army cot and whatever clothes and DVDs will fit in a duffel bag. Then I'd be full-on, Carny-style nomad. The sweet life.

This post is getting way too long. I'm surprised if you're still reading. I'll finish it up tomorrow, when I'll share the discovery I've made in the midst of these numerous relocations. And possibly gush about how happy I am living with Legal Counsel.

This post brought to you by Safeway.

Did you know Safeway sells freshly prepared sandwiches? Ask for one at the deli counter. Safeway. Ingredients for Life.