Give me a little credit

For the first 22.5 years of my life I managed to live without a credit card. And being a college student, that's not an easy thing to do. We get more plastic thrown at us than...some...guy. Damn, my metaphorical skills have failed me. Let me try an SAT analogy -

D-Rock's Mom : semen :: College Students : credit card offers

That's better. And it properly illustrates how often college students receive credit offers.

The reason I chose to avoid credit? My mom's advice. She always told me that credit cards are a bad idea that always end in trouble. And I listened. But one day I realized that the world revolves around the credit system. And I hate that.

Everything you do requires a credit check. Taking out a loan, buying a car, buying a house, using the restroom - each of these actions requires scrutiny of your financial history. Even applying for a credit card requires a credit check. That's right: you need a credit history (which most readily comes from credit cards) in order to get a credit card (which gives you credit history). Circular requirements. Paradox. I hope no robots/androids/cyborgs were reading this. Their heads would have just exploded.

It really doesn't make sense to me. In order to make a big purchase, you need to show a history of buying things without paying for them. You might argue that a credit history shows that you are responsible enough to pay off your debts. I might say that you should shut your mouth. Reasons why this argument is no good: (1) bad credit is looked upon more favorably than no credit (2) taking longer to pay off your credit card is better for your credit than paying it off right away (3) because I said so.

So creditors/banks/mortgage companies are looking for people who buy things they can't afford at the time. Makes sense for them since they'll garner more interest. But it just doesn't seem right. A dude like me, who would only pay for things if I had the money in my account, is viewed as a liability. Why must I be considered a liability in every aspect of my life? Tear...

I'm digressing from the purpose of this post. Things are getting too serious. Let's lighten the mood with a nerdy joke told in class on Monday by a professor. What's the name of this chemical?

Mercedes Benzene. Bwahaha....

So I decided to get a credit card. And I got turned down at every turn. "Why would we give you a credit card? You've never had a credit card." Grrr... Eventually Legal Counsel applied for a new American Express card (which she never used) and added me on as an additional cardholder. It worked out well, except that I didn't think it was building my credit so much as hers. Plus, American Express is the leper of the credit industry. No...worse than leper. Pedophile leper. Nobody wants to deal with them.

Legal Counsel told me that big chain stores usually dispense with the cards all willy-nilly, so I decided to get the Target card to replace the AmEx. The Target Visa has rewards. Rewards! I'm a sucker for rewards. In this case, rewards mean "spend $2500 and get 10% off Target purchases for a day." So really, all I have to do to get that $2500 back is spend $25,000 on that day. Suckers...

Let me say that if you want to commit credit card fraud, Target is the place to do it. Here's a quick rundown of circumstances during my application

• I had no proof of income.
• I had essentially no credit history.
• The address I gave didn't match my ID.
• Legal Counsel ultimately signed for the purchase on the card (even after I had given a signature) and neither the teller nor the machine cared.
• I told the guy I had no intention of paying off the card after maxing it, and he just said, "Whatever."

And after all that, they still gave me a $6000 credit limit. I love America.



I don't like this post, but it's the best I could manage to sputter out. Why am I suffering from writer's block? Or in Australia, "writer's bloque." Too much studying, methinks. I'll try to kick my blog back into gear soon.