More fun than a kick in the pills
Yesterday was my second day of preceptorship, and so far I have to say that it's great. For those of you non-medical folks, preceptorship is the process of following doctors as they practice medicine so you can learn procedures, presentation skills, etc. And in my case, preceptorship also involves constantly asking for prescriptions from every doctor I see. So far, no takers. We get to choose the specialty we'd like to experience, and I chose pediatrics.
Kids are great. They're cute, they're fun, they don't complain as much as adults, they're honest. I love kids. I guess you could call me a pedophile. No...wait...please don't call me that.
And the great thing is, kids love me. I couldn't tell you why, but they do. Maybe it's because I am so immature (like them), or I'm just funny looking. But they like the cut of my gib. Especially the little ones. The younger they are, the more they smile when they see me. It's quite the blessing, I must say. But also a curse: mostly because D-Rock keeps asking me to lure children into his van. I even had a woman ask if she could take her 9-month old son to me as his primary physician because he liked me so much, which made me happy. I was tempted to take her up on the offer, but all those damn laws about practicing medicine without a license get in the way. Damn you, government!
But it's not all fun and games and playing with kids. I'm there to learn. And I've been learning a lot about examination, diagnosis and treatment. But the most important lesson so far: watch where you stand.
A little girl, I think she was about 4 years, came in complaining of great toe pain and swelling. I went in the room with the resident and she was crying her eyes out. We informed her that she wasn't getting a shot this visit, and she cheered right up. Kids are hilarious. After checking out the toe and consulting the attending (my preceptor), the resident decided it was paronychia - a toenail infection. We† let her know we'd have to make an incision to drain it and left the room to get supplies.
As a sad aside: there was no way to easily numb the pain. No topical ointment, and injection of anesthetic would probably hurt as bad as the incision itself. The doctor discussed an older method which used a spray can to freeze the skin, but that was discontinued after discovering that the cans were highly explosive. Curse you, Fire Marshall! I suggested she use the old upside-down-keyboard-cleaning-compressed-air trick, but it didn't happen.
When we got back into the room, the girl was hiding under a table. It was the saddest, cutest thing I've seen so far. We talked her out and had her lie on her back on the exam table. The foot to be sliced was up on the table and her other leg was dangling off the side. Dr. D (my preceptor) asked me to hold the infected foot while the incision was made by the resident. And that's where I made my mistake.
I positioned myself such that her dangling leg was directly in front of my groin, accidentally of course. I mean, it was perfect. If I didn't know better, I'd say I did it on purpose. It was like I set myself up to be on America's Funniest Home Videos. You know, if the show didn't care about massive HIPAA violations.
So there I was, standing in front of a little girl's foot, legs spread like a cowboy after 3 weeks on the trail, as the little girl was about to be cut. The resident made the incision and as you would expect of a girl being sliced with a scalpel, she tensed up. She tensed all over. Including her leg. Which swung up and struck me directly in the old money-maker.
That's right, a 4 year old kicked me in the junk on my first day. It wasn't too terrible - her foot was small. But it still hurt. I didn't let it show, though. I didn't want the doctors laughing at me on my first day. But in retrospect, it would've been a great icebreaker. Ah well...
So I learned my lesson. Don't let children strike you in the boys. And watch where you stand. And always wear an athletic cup to clinic. Which also comes in handy during the frequent soccer games which break out in the vaccination room. Despite this experience, I still want to do pediatrics. So much fun!
†I say "we," but I was barely involved
Kids are great. They're cute, they're fun, they don't complain as much as adults, they're honest. I love kids. I guess you could call me a pedophile. No...wait...please don't call me that.
And the great thing is, kids love me. I couldn't tell you why, but they do. Maybe it's because I am so immature (like them), or I'm just funny looking. But they like the cut of my gib. Especially the little ones. The younger they are, the more they smile when they see me. It's quite the blessing, I must say. But also a curse: mostly because D-Rock keeps asking me to lure children into his van. I even had a woman ask if she could take her 9-month old son to me as his primary physician because he liked me so much, which made me happy. I was tempted to take her up on the offer, but all those damn laws about practicing medicine without a license get in the way. Damn you, government!
But it's not all fun and games and playing with kids. I'm there to learn. And I've been learning a lot about examination, diagnosis and treatment. But the most important lesson so far: watch where you stand.
A little girl, I think she was about 4 years, came in complaining of great toe pain and swelling. I went in the room with the resident and she was crying her eyes out. We informed her that she wasn't getting a shot this visit, and she cheered right up. Kids are hilarious. After checking out the toe and consulting the attending (my preceptor), the resident decided it was paronychia - a toenail infection. We† let her know we'd have to make an incision to drain it and left the room to get supplies.
As a sad aside: there was no way to easily numb the pain. No topical ointment, and injection of anesthetic would probably hurt as bad as the incision itself. The doctor discussed an older method which used a spray can to freeze the skin, but that was discontinued after discovering that the cans were highly explosive. Curse you, Fire Marshall! I suggested she use the old upside-down-keyboard-cleaning-compressed-air trick, but it didn't happen.
When we got back into the room, the girl was hiding under a table. It was the saddest, cutest thing I've seen so far. We talked her out and had her lie on her back on the exam table. The foot to be sliced was up on the table and her other leg was dangling off the side. Dr. D (my preceptor) asked me to hold the infected foot while the incision was made by the resident. And that's where I made my mistake.
I positioned myself such that her dangling leg was directly in front of my groin, accidentally of course. I mean, it was perfect. If I didn't know better, I'd say I did it on purpose. It was like I set myself up to be on America's Funniest Home Videos. You know, if the show didn't care about massive HIPAA violations.
So there I was, standing in front of a little girl's foot, legs spread like a cowboy after 3 weeks on the trail, as the little girl was about to be cut. The resident made the incision and as you would expect of a girl being sliced with a scalpel, she tensed up. She tensed all over. Including her leg. Which swung up and struck me directly in the old money-maker.
That's right, a 4 year old kicked me in the junk on my first day. It wasn't too terrible - her foot was small. But it still hurt. I didn't let it show, though. I didn't want the doctors laughing at me on my first day. But in retrospect, it would've been a great icebreaker. Ah well...
So I learned my lesson. Don't let children strike you in the boys. And watch where you stand. And always wear an athletic cup to clinic. Which also comes in handy during the frequent soccer games which break out in the vaccination room. Despite this experience, I still want to do pediatrics. So much fun!
†I say "we," but I was barely involved
posted by Montgomery at 10:21 AM
4 Comments:
I was shooting a third grade class touring a local ER about a month ago. One of the boys in the class asked many detailed questions of the surgeons leading the tour - questions that you would think would be far above his knowledge level (the kid's, not the surgeons'). While I was talking with this kid to get his name, etc, he told me he wanted to be a doctor when he got older. I asked what speciality. Without missing a beat, he responded, with complete seriousness, gynecology. The look on his three female teachers was great.
I don't know why your post reminded me of this.
Modest Monty,
You wrote a whole post without so much as a mention about what today is!!
Open Letter to the World:
23 years ago today, Monty's Mother tossed back some drugs, bit down on a stick, and forced our goofy blogger friend out of her womb. Way to be born, Montgomery, and Happy Birfday, indeed!
Thats what you get for making fun of Cynthia Nixon like that. While I did look at the comparison evidence, and it did look similar, it is still not nice to make fun of a fine thespian like Cynthia Nixon. So I have no pity because some little 4 year old kicked you in the junk. Its Karma Baby Karma!!!
Sounds like someone has a crush on Cynthia Nixon. I think that's the first time anyone has used the phrase "fine thespian" and her name in the same sentence that didn't have the word "not" in front of "fine thespian". Oh snap.
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