Pressed between the pages of my mind
Two events this morning have shown me that my brain needs some serious re-wiring.
One of the med students entered class today in an interesting outfit. To protect that person's identity (especially after Zed's blog fiasco), I'll use the old male/female spanish definite article trick. So El/la walks into class wearing a bright yellow dress and a bright yellow hair bow. My first thought was this:
Princess Lolly from Candyland! D-Rock will back me up - El/la looked strikingly similar to the princess. But the weird thing isn't that I made the connection. Okay, that is a little weird. The more weird thing is that I remembered the name of a secondary character from a children's board game that I haven't played in at least 15 years, probably more. I confirmed the name via Wikipedia, but "Princess Lolly" popped into my head faster the blink of an eye. Why is that information so readily available?
As a side note: what's the deal with Candyland? I constantly hear people complaining about how much junk food advertising children are exposed to nowadays. I distinctly remember playing a game based entirely around candy. Nobody complained about that. I think the official stance of the American Dental Association is one of condemnation, while they secretly praise the game as they stroke their wallets. The best thing about Candyland? Distinct anti-color blind gameplay. Suckers.
The other enlightening event of the morning came about as a result of lecture. We were learning about lupus in pathology and D-Rock turned to me and asked, "Doesn't Mitch Hedberg have a joke about lupus?" My response:
These two events made me realize that the majority of my grey matter is devoted to items which are completely useless. A quick inventory of my brain reveals the following major storage centers:
Don't get me wrong, I feel like I'm learning enough medicine to be a good doctor. But if the area of my brain dedicated to late-80s cartoons alone was converted to medical knowledge, I'd have a cure for every disease by the end of the week. And I'd have a pill that actually makes your penis bigger. But I wouldn't know how to sell it, since spam blockers would prevent my ads. Not that I'd sell it, mind you. I'd keep that for myself. God knows I need it. Um...pretend you didn't read that.
But thems the breaks. I'm just hoping my obscure knowledge serves me well in the realm of patient relationships. I know I'd stick with a doctor who can pick up on my random movie references. "Sorry, Doc. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI."
One of the med students entered class today in an interesting outfit. To protect that person's identity (especially after Zed's blog fiasco), I'll use the old male/female spanish definite article trick. So El/la walks into class wearing a bright yellow dress and a bright yellow hair bow. My first thought was this:
Princess Lolly from Candyland! D-Rock will back me up - El/la looked strikingly similar to the princess. But the weird thing isn't that I made the connection. Okay, that is a little weird. The more weird thing is that I remembered the name of a secondary character from a children's board game that I haven't played in at least 15 years, probably more. I confirmed the name via Wikipedia, but "Princess Lolly" popped into my head faster the blink of an eye. Why is that information so readily available?
As a side note: what's the deal with Candyland? I constantly hear people complaining about how much junk food advertising children are exposed to nowadays. I distinctly remember playing a game based entirely around candy. Nobody complained about that. I think the official stance of the American Dental Association is one of condemnation, while they secretly praise the game as they stroke their wallets. The best thing about Candyland? Distinct anti-color blind gameplay. Suckers.
The other enlightening event of the morning came about as a result of lecture. We were learning about lupus in pathology and D-Rock turned to me and asked, "Doesn't Mitch Hedberg have a joke about lupus?" My response:
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease you can get yelled at for having. Damn it, Otto, you're an alcoholic. Damn it, Otto, you have lupus. One of those two doesn't sound right.I was able to quote Mitch Hedberg word for word at the drop of a hat. Again, completely useless information stored in the forefront of my brain.
These two events made me realize that the majority of my grey matter is devoted to items which are completely useless. A quick inventory of my brain reveals the following major storage centers:
- Toys from my childhood
- Movie quotes and trivia
- Potent Potables
- Television quotes and trivia
- Foosball shots
- Disneyland
- D-Rock's mom jokes, aka completely true things baout D-Rock's mom
- 17th century German political leaders
- Zombies: movies, trivia, and methods of combating
- Potpourri
Don't get me wrong, I feel like I'm learning enough medicine to be a good doctor. But if the area of my brain dedicated to late-80s cartoons alone was converted to medical knowledge, I'd have a cure for every disease by the end of the week. And I'd have a pill that actually makes your penis bigger. But I wouldn't know how to sell it, since spam blockers would prevent my ads. Not that I'd sell it, mind you. I'd keep that for myself. God knows I need it. Um...pretend you didn't read that.
But thems the breaks. I'm just hoping my obscure knowledge serves me well in the realm of patient relationships. I know I'd stick with a doctor who can pick up on my random movie references. "Sorry, Doc. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI."
posted by Montgomery at 12:33 PM
3 Comments:
Don't forget the center of your mind labeled simply "Snakes on a Brain."
Bravo, sir. Very clever.
And thanks for going on a hetero man-date with me. As opposed to a hetero mandate.
Hetero??? ;( *tear
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