Damn it feels good to be a gangsta second year

When I was applying to the UA College of Medicine the admissions folks really built up the school as being the best. Because as much as I wanted to get in, they wanted me to come here. Not necessarily me specifically. The Royal me. They just want to get as many good students as they can, both for their reputation and for their bank accounts.

They emphasized the following four strong points:

• High quality education from well-respected faculty
• Low stress, high satisfaction lifestyle
• An overabundance of complimentary drugs and hookers
• Low cost

And except for that third one, I'd say they were mostly honest and accurate. The professors have been amazing; smart, funny, approachable - the whole nine. Except for a couple, but I'll hold my tongue. Wouldn't want their spouses to chastise me online...wink. Attendance is highly flexible. I can skip class if I want to go to Disneyland, or if I need to "take care of business" in certain South American countries. People like Mr. T can skip class every day, as long as they are able to learn on their own. Tests are only every 10 weeks. It's nice. And the price certainly is low, despite its steady increase every year. At least the government is paying for my education. Wait, crap! I can't say that anymore. How I pine for the days of undergrad...

But we '09ers are the last class using the old curriculum. The '010ers get a whole new schedule, set-up and set of rules. I like to think of them as the UA CoM's experimental guinea pigs. And apparently the hypothesis of this experiment is "If we get rid of everything that makes going to Med School at the UA enjoyable, we can ruin the lives of our students."

As far as I can tell, the administration has decided that med students have been way too happy. They've made sweeping changes to the way things are run, and I feel sorry for the first years. Really sorry. I'm tempted to murder them just to put them out of their misery. But misery loves company, so they might be okay. I'l let them live another day.

Here's a list of the changes I've heard about. They might be totally incorrect, but much like Jayson Blair and Zed, I don't check my information before writing it...wink.

• They have 6 week subject blocks with a test at the end of each.
• They don't get week long fall/spring breaks. They get a three day weekend after the tests.
• Two words: mandatory attendance. If they miss 2 classes in a block, they fail the block.
• Two more words: dress code.
• They have to participate in at least 7 experimental drug trials through each semester. And not the good kind. The mutating kind.
• They have group work every Monday based around an assignment dispensed the preceeding Friday at 5pm - the end of their class day.
• "Oral favors" on all faculty with tenure.
• The worst part of our histology class - grading our fellow students - is now a regular event.
• They seem to have class during lunch.
• "Kick-in-the-Balls Wednesday"/"Kick-in-the-Ovaries Thursday."

All in all, they're getting the high hard one. They've gone from, "Hey class of 2009, don't worry too much about missing class as long as you catch up on material. And we're having meetings where you can discuss your problems in case you're feeling stressed," to "Hey class of 2010, sucks to be you. We're going to stress you out with work and rules. And we don't have enough time for those hippie meetings. Deal with it."

In short, the new curriculum is Bush League.

To think I used to be full of jealous rage since they started so much later than us. Now I just feel sorry for them. I have not heard one person look upon the new curriculum lovingly. I'm just glad I squeaked my way into the sweet life. In honor of the class of 2010, I think I'll take another California trip in the upcoming weeks. Suckers...


To understand what all the winking is about, check out all the drama going on at Zed's blog.