Foley's Follies
I didn't want to comment on Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL), but no amount of Brangelina stories seem to knock him out of the news. So, being a blogger, I have to comment on the situation. First off, let me get this out of the way:
Mark Foley looks like:
a) a chameleon
b) a shih tzu puppy
c) actor Creed Bratton playing Creed Bratton on the US version of The Office
d) All of the above
The correct answer is "d) all of the above." Mostly it's in the eyes. He's a funny looking guy...he probably has FLG Syndrome. He doesn't make me a little horny. Not at all.
I'd like to badmouth this guy and rant about what a twisted hypocrite he is, but the truth is I like him. Why do I like him? Because he makes the Republican Party look bad. Sure he's an ephebophile, but who isn't? As long as he humiliates republicans whilst attempting to sexually assault minors, I think things balance out. Getting rid of our horrible domestic and foreign policy in exchange for some delicious teenage boy touching. Fair trade.
Another good thing about Foleygate is the possibility for amusing headlines:
U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert meets ethics committee for Foley probe - giggle
’Hot Boys’ Topped Republican Mark Foley’s Agenda - snicker
Mark Foley exposed via the Internet - I bet he did
But the thing that amuses me most about this whole ordeal is the fact that he got busted using text messages. always think of texting as a young peron phenomenon†, but apparently the elderly are involved as well. And that amuses me to know end. Especially when it's a political figure.
Do they use the same bad grammar and spelling so prevalent in the youth? Do they use the abbreviations? It's fun to think about. Here's a conversation between Bush and Cheney, over phone text:
Dick Cheney: chavez said u smell lik sulfur lol
George Bush: can i bom him???
Dick Cheney: not yet, roflmao
George Bush: dang. he sux
Dick Cheney: i hate mexicans
George Bush: me 2
Neither of them realize that Hugo Chavez is really from Venezuela. They actually refer to all "brown people" as mexican. They're horribly racist. Also, Dubya doesn't actually know how to spell anyway, text message or not. And he can only write in crayon.
Class is almost over. Time for me to end this post. It was a little political for me, eh? Maybe next time I'll talk about MTV to balance things out...
†do doo do do do
Mark Foley looks like:
a) a chameleon
b) a shih tzu puppy
c) actor Creed Bratton playing Creed Bratton on the US version of The Office
d) All of the above
The correct answer is "d) all of the above." Mostly it's in the eyes. He's a funny looking guy...he probably has FLG Syndrome. He doesn't make me a little horny. Not at all.
I'd like to badmouth this guy and rant about what a twisted hypocrite he is, but the truth is I like him. Why do I like him? Because he makes the Republican Party look bad. Sure he's an ephebophile, but who isn't? As long as he humiliates republicans whilst attempting to sexually assault minors, I think things balance out. Getting rid of our horrible domestic and foreign policy in exchange for some delicious teenage boy touching. Fair trade.
Another good thing about Foleygate is the possibility for amusing headlines:
U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert meets ethics committee for Foley probe - giggle
’Hot Boys’ Topped Republican Mark Foley’s Agenda - snicker
Mark Foley exposed via the Internet - I bet he did
But the thing that amuses me most about this whole ordeal is the fact that he got busted using text messages. always think of texting as a young peron phenomenon†, but apparently the elderly are involved as well. And that amuses me to know end. Especially when it's a political figure.
Do they use the same bad grammar and spelling so prevalent in the youth? Do they use the abbreviations? It's fun to think about. Here's a conversation between Bush and Cheney, over phone text:
Dick Cheney: chavez said u smell lik sulfur lol
George Bush: can i bom him???
Dick Cheney: not yet, roflmao
George Bush: dang. he sux
Dick Cheney: i hate mexicans
George Bush: me 2
Neither of them realize that Hugo Chavez is really from Venezuela. They actually refer to all "brown people" as mexican. They're horribly racist. Also, Dubya doesn't actually know how to spell anyway, text message or not. And he can only write in crayon.
Class is almost over. Time for me to end this post. It was a little political for me, eh? Maybe next time I'll talk about MTV to balance things out...
†do doo do do do
posted by Montgomery at 9:10 AM
2 Comments:
Mah Na Mah Na! Mahna Mahna!
I would like to know your comments on celebrities adopting brown babies from third world countries. That has also been in the news lately and I would appreciate your thoughts. Thank you.
Its too bad Foley didn't get caught on that Dateline "To Catch a Predator". Now that would have been awesome.
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