That's not a knife...

January 26th was Australia Day. Crikey! In honor of such a momentous holiday, I'd like to list all the words and phrases used in the Land Down Under which should be accepted into common usage everywhere (courtesy of Aussie Slang and Koala Net).

a bit more choke and you would have started - a statement made to somebody who has just passed wind in public rather loudly
a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock - not all there in the brain
airy fairy - vague
alligator pear - avocado
as dry as a nun's nasty - very dry
banana bender - a resident of Queensland (damn Queenslanders....)
bastard - a general form of addressing someone (how sweet would it be to go around calling everyone a bastard?)
brown-eye mullet - a turd in the sea
bush oyster - nasal mucus
busy as Bourke Street in the rush hour - extremely busy (I hate driving on Bourke Street)
cackleberry - an egg (hahahaha...I don't know why that's so funny)
dead horse - tomato sauce (what??)
dong - to hit or punch (hehe)
duck's guts - the heart of the matter
Dutch Oven - a large cast iron pot with a lid used for cooking or baking over an open fire (classic)
flat out like a lizard drinking - extremely busy and under pressure from work
franger - condom
freckle - anus (hole new meaning to "freckle face")
from go to whoa - from start to finish
in the altogether - in the nude
larrikin - a rowdy, irresponsible and rascally boy or young man (like Larkitect! By the way, check your gmail)
mappa tassie/map of Tasmania - female pubic area
mystery bags - sausages (gross...and true)
old fella - penis
ridgie didgie - the real thing (that's just fun to say)
scarce as hen's teeth - very rare
sparrow's fart - dawn (confusing and classy)
stands out like dog's balls - obvious
stunned mullet - confused person
happy little vegemite - a happy person
trannie - transistor radio (really?)
useful as an ashtray on a motorbike/tits on a bull - incompetent person
white pointers - topless female sunbathers
who opened their lunch - who farted?

As you can see, Australians are class acts all the way.

I'm also fascinated by the Cockney/Aussie habit of creating slang terms from random things that rhyme:
after dark - shark
aristotle - bottle
billy lid - kid
Dad n' Dave - shave
dog's eye - meat pie
joe blake - snake
septic tank - yank = American (jerks)

And somebody forgot to tell Australia that the roaring 20s are over:
bees knees - the absolute best
cooking with gas - proceeding better than expected
hum dinger - something excellent
keen as mustard - extremely enthusiastic
pictures - movies

And they've got tons of slang for alcohol. surprise, surprise.
amber fluid - beer
Darwin Stubbie - 1.25 L bottle of beer
empties - empty beer bottles
handle - beer glass with a handle
longneck - 750 mL bottle of beer
middie - 285 mL beer glass
pot - 285 mL beer glass
schooner - a large beer glass (It's not a schooner you idiot, it's a sail boat)
slab - a carton of 24 beer cans
stubbie - 375 mL short necked bottle of beer
turps - strong alcohol (compare to TURP)

I hope I've managed to perpetuate every Australian stereotype possible. But remember, I didn't make this stuff up. Have a bonzer day!