I'm much too fast to take that test
I was studying for my SBS final this morning...only this morning. You other med students know what I'm talking about. Anyway, one of the benevolent second years had a set of practice questions (from the professors?) to bestow on we meager first years. We learned about substance abuse this quarter and in one set of questions the task was to identify the drug a person was taking. Here's an example:
So here's Montgomery, sitting there thinking, "Well, HIV can lead to chronic pain. This guy must have been prescribed some kind of opioid pain-killer by his doctor. If he took too much, accidentally or as a suicide attempt from depression, he might have those symptoms."
Wrong. Very wrong. Well, not in the drug. In the reasoning. Here is the given answer:
Here's another odd practice question - one of the physiology questions began with:
Okay, back to studying. I just thought I'd share those stories. I'll return to blogging fo' real when finals are over. Stupid Biochem...
By the way, Zed, you're totally right in blaming your problems on the professor. At least in that one class.
A 32-year-old man is brought to a the hospital. He appears sedated, but euphoric. A blood test reveals the presence of HIV.
So here's Montgomery, sitting there thinking, "Well, HIV can lead to chronic pain. This guy must have been prescribed some kind of opioid pain-killer by his doctor. If he took too much, accidentally or as a suicide attempt from depression, he might have those symptoms."
Wrong. Very wrong. Well, not in the drug. In the reasoning. Here is the given answer:
The presence of HIV as well as signs of sedation and euphoria indicate that this patient is an intravenous heroin abuser.Well then. The glass just went from half full to half empty. This must be the change in attitude I keep getting warned about. Sometime in the next 7ish years, I'm going to go from "poor guy has chronic pain from HIV" to "stupid junkie." Med student = liberal, doctor = conservative. Tear.
Here's another odd practice question - one of the physiology questions began with:
If the pituitary gland were removed and implanted on the kidney...Okay, why would you do that? You could just as easily have said "if the connections from the hypothalamus to the pituitary were severed..." Why do you have to go Frankenstein/Mengele on us? I think the answer is "E. You crazy"
Okay, back to studying. I just thought I'd share those stories. I'll return to blogging fo' real when finals are over. Stupid Biochem...
By the way, Zed, you're totally right in blaming your problems on the professor. At least in that one class.
posted by Montgomery at 12:59 PM
5 Comments:
That HIV question really made me mad. I guess all HIV patients are IV drug users eh??? And therefore, all IV drug users have HIV. Man, I love the connections we make in med school!!!!!
That mad me mad too. I know for a fact that Montgomery's Mom uses IV drugs all the time and she doesn't have HIV. Not to mention the hundreds of time she has unprotected sex...per day. Granted she has every other STD known to man (and donkey), but she still doesn't have the HIV. You know what they say about ass-humptions.
With Regards,
D-Rock Rockington Worchester Smythe
OMG A SHOUT OUT! A SHOUT OUT!!!!
-Zed
well its a good think that Montgomery's mom doesn't have HIV....cuz I heard you can contract it just from shaking hands.....and well all know DRock does more than that......
Hey now, you're a medical student, you should know that HIV isn't transmitted through shaking hands. But if you listen to Sen. Bill Frist, who supposedly went to medical school, it can be transmitted through tears. Which is bad, because women who see D-Rock naked (aka prostitutes) usually laugh so hard they start to cry.
Bill Frist = dumber than D-Rock's promiscuous mother
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