Off the Map
To finish off our last summer vacation, Legal Counsel and I made a trip to California. Or as I like to call it, "The Land that City Planning Forgot." Seriously, get these guys a civil engineer. Or at least a dude who has played Sim City 2000. That place is a convoluted mess of asphalt and hobos. Friggin' California. Is a grid of perpendicular, straight roads really that difficult? Why can't you be more like the NYC†?
Anyway, the majority of our time was spent in San Diego. We were supposed to do Legoland, the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park. I got violently ill on the day set aside for Legoland, so we only got to do the two zoos. Zoo's. Zoos...it looks funny. Legal Counsel loves the zoo. Why? Because they are zooriffic. She likes giraffes, elephants and the Argentinian Exploding River Toad. I like monkeys/apes, turtles and Snakes on a Plane.
We got lost almost every day of our trip. I'd like to place the blame entirely on California, but it was also my fault. I kept giving her wrong directions when she was driving. Being of English heritage, I only have a sense of direction when at sea. Or when it's raining. Or when I'm eating fatty, greasy foods made of random beef parts and pastries. But none of those conditions were met, so I was lost.
As we were randomly travelling around San Diego, I was getting increasingly more frustrated. Both with myself and with Schwarzenegger-land. But then I looked down at the hotel-provided map we had been using and noticed the following disclaimer:
"Not to scale or accurate." What the hell?? Cartographers have only two reasons to live: accuracy and scale. If they can't fulfill those two missions, they should just commit seppuku. What's the purpose ofgiving us creating a map which isn't to scale or accurate? Why not just slap that disclaimer on a Spirograph and send us on our merry, oblivious way? No wonder we kept getting lost. But it's a relief to know that our confusion wasn't (entirely) my fault.
I'd make this post longer, but my mom is coming to town so I need to hide my drugs and pornography. And my preceptorship starts tomorrow, so I might not be able to update again until Friday. I apologize. But I actually get to work with a pediatrician...yay! I'm so excited!
And I just can't hide it.
I'm about to lose control.
And I think I like it.
†I'd actually never drive in New York City. But at least they've got subways, damn it.
Anyway, the majority of our time was spent in San Diego. We were supposed to do Legoland, the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park. I got violently ill on the day set aside for Legoland, so we only got to do the two zoos. Zoo's. Zoos...it looks funny. Legal Counsel loves the zoo. Why? Because they are zooriffic. She likes giraffes, elephants and the Argentinian Exploding River Toad. I like monkeys/apes, turtles and Snakes on a Plane.
We got lost almost every day of our trip. I'd like to place the blame entirely on California, but it was also my fault. I kept giving her wrong directions when she was driving. Being of English heritage, I only have a sense of direction when at sea. Or when it's raining. Or when I'm eating fatty, greasy foods made of random beef parts and pastries. But none of those conditions were met, so I was lost.
As we were randomly travelling around San Diego, I was getting increasingly more frustrated. Both with myself and with Schwarzenegger-land. But then I looked down at the hotel-provided map we had been using and noticed the following disclaimer:
"Not to scale or accurate." What the hell?? Cartographers have only two reasons to live: accuracy and scale. If they can't fulfill those two missions, they should just commit seppuku. What's the purpose of
I'd make this post longer, but my mom is coming to town so I need to hide my drugs and pornography. And my preceptorship starts tomorrow, so I might not be able to update again until Friday. I apologize. But I actually get to work with a pediatrician...yay! I'm so excited!
And I just can't hide it.
I'm about to lose control.
And I think I like it.
†I'd actually never drive in New York City. But at least they've got subways, damn it.
posted by Montgomery at 9:03 AM
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