Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!
Blargh. Blargh! Blargh, I say! Today I'm down with the sickness, so I'm not feeling particularly creative. So I've decided to hit you with a blast from the past.
Last August, I decided to do something completely random. I know, I know - everything I do is completely random. But I was more random than usual this time. I decided to keep track of the number of students wearing red shirts in my class. I later decided to expand this to red, orange and yellow shirts for variety.
The Rules
1. Fellow students could not become aware of my research, or the results would be skewed.
1a. The one exception is D-Rock. He was my helper. Plus, his shirt is normally too filthy to determine color.
1b. I shouldn't count myself.
2. It had to be done early, before basketball season caused a jump in red shirt popularity.
3. Mixed color shirts would be classified based on the dominant color.
The Data
Analysis
I entered this experiment expecting a completely random distribution of data, and this was true for orange and yelow shirts. But much to my surprise, a distinct pattern emerged in the red shirt population. Over the 4-week study period, the number of students wearing red shirts peaked every Wednesday. It was very bizarre. Like clockwork, I could expect a peak in red shirts on Wednesdays. It was like everybody got together without me and decided to make Wednesday the official Red Shirt Day.
Discussion
What does this mean? Several things. First, there's probably some kind of conspiracy going on. The Wednesday Red Shirt brigade probably knows something about Lincoln's Gold, and I aim to find out what. Second, if a terrorist plans to attack our medical school by releasing a bull or herd of bulls into the building, Wednesday is the day to do it for the greatest amount of damage. But be warned, terrorists! Your plan will fail. I've had anti-Bull countermeasures in place since November '05. Third, we have the least number of students eligible for gameplay on Wednesdays
Finally, and most importantly, if the class of '09 is ever assigned to a dangerous mission on a foreign planet, we'll suffer the greatest losses if the mission occurs on a Wednesday (see the research of Roddenberry et al). On the plus side, I stand the greatest chance of survival on that day. Unfortunately, a Monday mission means I'll totally get murdered by Armus on Varga II. I hate mondays...
Further Research
Changes I would make during future research:
1. Keep track of all shirt colors, including blue, green, and fuchsia.
2. Keep track of class attendance, to get a per capita shirt number.
3. Get paid for my research.
4. Kill Philip.
5. Grab Legal Counsel.
6. Go to the Winchester.
7. Have a nice cold pint and wait for all of this to blow over.
How's that for a slice of fried gold?
Last August, I decided to do something completely random. I know, I know - everything I do is completely random. But I was more random than usual this time. I decided to keep track of the number of students wearing red shirts in my class. I later decided to expand this to red, orange and yellow shirts for variety.
The Rules
1. Fellow students could not become aware of my research, or the results would be skewed.
1a. The one exception is D-Rock. He was my helper. Plus, his shirt is normally too filthy to determine color.
1b. I shouldn't count myself.
2. It had to be done early, before basketball season caused a jump in red shirt popularity.
3. Mixed color shirts would be classified based on the dominant color.
The Data
Analysis
I entered this experiment expecting a completely random distribution of data, and this was true for orange and yelow shirts. But much to my surprise, a distinct pattern emerged in the red shirt population. Over the 4-week study period, the number of students wearing red shirts peaked every Wednesday. It was very bizarre. Like clockwork, I could expect a peak in red shirts on Wednesdays. It was like everybody got together without me and decided to make Wednesday the official Red Shirt Day.
Discussion
What does this mean? Several things. First, there's probably some kind of conspiracy going on. The Wednesday Red Shirt brigade probably knows something about Lincoln's Gold, and I aim to find out what. Second, if a terrorist plans to attack our medical school by releasing a bull or herd of bulls into the building, Wednesday is the day to do it for the greatest amount of damage. But be warned, terrorists! Your plan will fail. I've had anti-Bull countermeasures in place since November '05. Third, we have the least number of students eligible for gameplay on Wednesdays
Finally, and most importantly, if the class of '09 is ever assigned to a dangerous mission on a foreign planet, we'll suffer the greatest losses if the mission occurs on a Wednesday (see the research of Roddenberry et al). On the plus side, I stand the greatest chance of survival on that day. Unfortunately, a Monday mission means I'll totally get murdered by Armus on Varga II. I hate mondays...
Further Research
Changes I would make during future research:
1. Keep track of all shirt colors, including blue, green, and fuchsia.
2. Keep track of class attendance, to get a per capita shirt number.
3. Get paid for my research.
4. Kill Philip.
5. Grab Legal Counsel.
6. Go to the Winchester.
7. Have a nice cold pint and wait for all of this to blow over.
How's that for a slice of fried gold?
posted by Montgomery at 7:58 AM
4 Comments:
Sounds like somebody has a case of "The Mondays"
hey can i use this research article for my micro paper???
Midgets prefer to be called "Little People" these days - or "LP" for short.
I'm very upset that you didn't have a special post for your 10,000 reader!
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