The brain?! Oh, dear god...
In our microbiology test yesterday, I had a total brain fart. The question described a kid returning from a camping trip with all the classic signs of Lyme disease: migratory bullseye rash, fever, malaise, joint pain...pretty much every clinical indicator possible, which is totally how patients present in real life.
Immediately recognizing it as Lyme Disease, I prepared to mark that answer. But the question instead asked:
So I sat there and focused, trying to recall the answer. I mentally flipped through my notes: nothing. I thought back to lecture: nada. I scanned through the answers tattooed on my inner thigh: zilch. But then it hit me. I thought of a professor so talented that nobody can forget his teachings. A teacher so wise that all look upon him in amazement. A mentor so awe-inspiring that hundreds of millions of people have seen him speak. Who was this sophic sage?
Ralph Wiggum.
Season 2, Episode 7F19 - "Lisa's Substitute." Ms. Hoover contracts Lyme disease; Mr. Bergstrom (Dustin Hoffman) fills in as substitute teacher and touches Lisa...metaphorically of course, you sickos. Also, Bart runs for class president.
Why is this relevant? In the episode, a concerned Ralph Wiggum writes a letter to Ms. Hoover. It reads:
So that novelty poster I bought was right: all I really need to know in life I learned from watching television.
The end.
And if you're curious: Ms. Hoover's Lyme disease was actually psychosomatic, and Bart lost the election because everybody who would have voted for him was too busy eating the cupcakes he brought.
...at least I hope it was Lyme disease.
Immediately recognizing it as Lyme Disease, I prepared to mark that answer. But the question instead asked:
What is the cellular morphology of the organism causing this disease?And I totally blanked. In retrospect, it was an extremely easy question. But my brain just wasn't working. Maybe it was the lack of sleep the night before or the 700mg of DMT coursing through my body, but I just couldn't think of it.
a. cocci
b. bacillus
c. spore
d. spirochete
e. Klein bottle
So I sat there and focused, trying to recall the answer. I mentally flipped through my notes: nothing. I thought back to lecture: nada. I scanned through the answers tattooed on my inner thigh: zilch. But then it hit me. I thought of a professor so talented that nobody can forget his teachings. A teacher so wise that all look upon him in amazement. A mentor so awe-inspiring that hundreds of millions of people have seen him speak. Who was this sophic sage?
Ralph Wiggum.
Season 2, Episode 7F19 - "Lisa's Substitute." Ms. Hoover contracts Lyme disease; Mr. Bergstrom (Dustin Hoffman) fills in as substitute teacher and touches Lisa...metaphorically of course, you sickos. Also, Bart runs for class president.
Why is this relevant? In the episode, a concerned Ralph Wiggum writes a letter to Ms. Hoover. It reads:
Dear Ms. Hoover: You have Lyme's Disease. We miss you. Kevin's biting me. Come back soon. Here's a drawing of a spirochete. Love, Ralph.And thus my answer was chosen, all thanks to one Mr. Ralph Wiggum. D-Rock and I have been quoting that one all week, so thankfully it was fresh in my head.
So that novelty poster I bought was right: all I really need to know in life I learned from watching television.
The end.
And if you're curious: Ms. Hoover's Lyme disease was actually psychosomatic, and Bart lost the election because everybody who would have voted for him was too busy eating the cupcakes he brought.
...at least I hope it was Lyme disease.
posted by Montgomery at 2:36 PM
3 Comments:
So, the doctor said to me that I wouldn't get so many nose bleeds if I could just keep my fingers out of there.
What's a battle?
I mind-farted on the same question.
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