Let me see you 1, 2 step

I'm sitting here in the med library working on my MSRP application. Still. Sigh. I hate paperwork and bureaucracy, now more than ever. They're so nitpicky. "Be more clear about your methodology," "respect privacy," "don't openly threaten the human subjects." Jeez, what do they expect from me? I suppose next they'll tell me that I actually have to do research rather than making up data. Jerks.

Anyway, I'm working on my phrasing because I care more about style than I should. I'm trying to say, "The first step in the process..." without using the word 'step.' I go to good old thesaurus.com and search for 'step.' One of the results is as follows:

Main Entry: Aztec two-step
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: looseness of the bowels
Synonyms: backdoor trots, diarrhea, diarrhoea, dysentery, flux, loose stool, Montezuma's revenge, runs, summer complaint, tourista, trots, turistas

Classy, thesaurus.com, real classy. I'd expect these kind of shenanigans from Urban Dictionary, but not from you. For shame...

Back to working on my proposal. I'm adding a new line: "One of the biggest complaints in any medical community is the Aztec two-step. Contrary to popular belief, it affects all populations, not just Pre-Colombian Mesoamericans."