Alimentary, my dear Watson

I've been studying hard for quite some time. And the most important thing that I've learned is that I really like British pop-rock bands. I have a definite UK bias in my music tastes. A band which I'd say "it's okay" to gets an over-enthusiastic two thumbs up once I learn that they're from England. And I mean really overly enthusiastic, with a big smile and raised eyebrows. The kind of response which would prompt you to take a step back, say "dude, chill out" and maybe consider not hanging out with me anymore. I'm an anglophile. Ironically, though, I don't like The Beatles.

I've also learned that I like MySpace for finding alternate recordings of songs I enjoy. See for example Beck or Coheed & Cambria. Hooray for acoustics and studio sessions! I need to blog about MySpace on of these days. It's devouring people's lives...

The Penis Mightier

My study motivation was wavering earlier today (read: all day, every day). To remedy the situation, I went to Target and purchased a new pen. Nothing brings back your enthusiasm to learn useless minutia like writing with a fresh new pen. Am I write people? (get it?). My choice was a fine tip blue Uniball. Quite nice. Initially I was against it since the name hits a little too close to home, but I bought it and haven't looked back since.

It's the kind of pen I'd like to have with me if trapped behind enemy lines and stripped of weapons (assuming the inept rookie guard underestimated my training, and the lethality of writing instruments). After hours of torture, my will near the breaking point, there is no pen I'd rather have fortuitously drop out of my pocket as I slump over in the corner of a damp cell, vomiting bile. The clip is just the right size to pick the locks of my rusty Soviet handcuffs, while the tip is sturdy enough withstand the rigors of being thrust into the carotids of my enemies. And its got just the right heft to be thrown across a room, finishing off the one remaining terrorist trying to shoot me in the back during my escape. Sweet freedom. Yes...this truly is the quill of Hermes.

License to Thrill

Well, this post took kind of a dark turn. Hmm...we've had rock & roll, then violence. What's left for my R† rating? I could use "fuck" more than once. Or have illicit drug use. But those are kind of boring. What else? I know! Sex! That'll lighten things up a bit.

When I was at Target, I saw a license plate cover which read "Candy is Dandy...But sex won't rot your teeth." I must be doing something wrong. Or oh so right...



†I probably would've got an R already in the UK. They hate violence, especially headbutts. Look it up. But if my blog post is historically significant, I can probably get it lowered. Let's see..."The Hundred Years war was fought between England and France from 1337 to 1453, meaning it actually lasted 116 years." PG-13, here I come! Fuck yeah. Ah shit...