I don't know but Alaska

I recently returned from a graduation cruise to Alaska, made possible by a generous grant from Legal Counsel. It was a lot of fun, although for reasons I'm not allowed to go into I'm no longer allowed in our 49th state. Shame.

Before I left, I learned a few interesting facts about "The Big Easy." Allow me to share:

• The state is the exact opposite of Rhode Island, both in size and ideology. As such, coffee milk is illegal and residents are allowed to stand more than 5'3" in height.
  
• The song "Gold Digger" by Kanye West is forbidden from being played within state boundaries, as it gives a negative connotation to what Alaskans describe as "The Noblest Profession."
  
• Bald eagles are as common in Alaska as pigeons are in New York. Therefore, they are treated in a similar manner. And a 1932 law still in the books, initially created to help depression-stricken Alaskans, allows any US citizen to trade 12 eagle beaks for 10 cents at city hall. This is the origin of the phrase "a dime a dozen."
  
• 80% of the economy is derived from prostitution and prostitution-related careers (brothel inspectors, STD clinics, bouncers, donkey trainers, etc).
  
• Despite statements to the contrary, it is not possible to see Russia from Sarah Palin's house. However, an elaborate series of fiber optics and mirrors allow Russians to see into Sarah Palin's bedroom.
  
• Due to it's relative isolation, inaccessibility and cold climate, most US government zombie contingency plans involve evacuation to Alaska.
  
• State flower: sockeye salmon
  
• State bird: king salmon
  
• State mineral: chum salmon
  
• State fish: willow ptarmigan
  
• State motto: "Mo money, mo problems"
  
• State nickname: "The Final Frontier" - the subject of an ongoing lawsuit with the estate of Gene Roddenberry
  
• 30 Days of Night was a documentary
  
• The indigenous peoples of Alaska do have a surprising number of words for "snow." However, the "snow" they are referring to is cocaine.
  
• The exchange rate between US and Alaskan currency is typically equal to the exchange rate between US and Canadian currency. A nice gentleman in Skagway allowed me to exchange my US dollars for Alaskan dollars at a rate of 1.05 to 1. As a side note, Alaskan currency looks a lot like rocks.

There you go. That's all of my Alaska knowledge. Use it well. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm still in the process of picking gold dust out of my teeth.