So gimme that toot toot, I'll give you that part 3
We're on to the last day of the weekend. Sunday, if you don't know. I've managedto stretch 2 days of activities into 4 days of blog material. I'm the Nathaniel Hawthorne of bloggers. Without the talent or recognition. Just the long-windedness.
Legal counsel and I slept in late, then went to D-Rock's casa for the Super Bowl. It's some sort of gentlemen's sport competition, I'm told. When I entered D-Rock's place, I must admit to being pleasantly surprised. It was much nicer than reckoned. I was expecting a third world level of squalor, at least. Maybe fourth world - it'd be so filthy it would require a new nomenclature. Since D-Rock himself is like Pigpen from "Peanuts," I imagined a thin layer of filth covering every surface of the place. Piles of old newspapers, boxes of expired MREs and rusty old bicycles littered the chez D-Rock of my mind. Shirtless children in diapers were running around and there were no less than 4 potbelly pigs. But none of that was true. It was nicely decorated and had Ikea furniture. Props to D-Rock.
So we arrived and started watching the pre-pre-pregame show. It was a mix of prestidigitation for the upcoming game and a history of Super Bowls past. Honestly, football fans are bizarre. Why would you want to watch that much analysis of a single pass thrown in 1986, or the predictions of some overweight turducken lover? We spent most of that time making jokes at the expensive of those on the telly.
Speaking of making jokes, I made plenty. D-Rock had several friends over (I'm as suprised as you are that he has friends) which to me is an audience. Hence, I made with the yuk-yuks. I think I either made a good impression or drove them crazy. Whatever the case, I was amused.
Before the game started, D-Rock cooked up some burgers and veggie burgers on his collection of George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducin' Grillin' Machines. Watching this process and eating the result just further strengthened my love of George Foreman and his grill. Everything tastes better if it touches George foreman before consumption. And it really does reduce the fat! How do I know? I watched the horrible blobs drip off the device. Disgusting. I wished I had my digital camera. The whitish-brown blobs oozed down the grill like artery clogging slugs. And the mass that formed in the collecting tray was enough to put me away from red meat...for about an hour, at which point I ate a real burger instead of the veggie burger I ate first. D-Rock was almost drunk enough to eat the fat collection. I'm a little disappointed I didn't get him to eat it.
Finally the game started. I don't really remember what happened....
The commercials were pretty fun. There was a fair amount of slapstick comedy, which I appreciate. I think my favorite was the FedEx dinosaur commercial. The Bud Light secret fridge was good. And I love the shear randomness of Emerald Nuts. Looking for links to these ads, I just realized my real favorite is the MacGyver Mastercard commercial. His first name is Angus. Pirates of the Caribbean and Cars both made me giddy as a little girl. The big losers of the ads: anything GoDaddy related, annoying Full Throttle, the Whopperettes (the woman dressed as the meat patty reminded me of the George Foreman fat glob) and especially Hummer. No, I don't want to drive a homicidal robot-monster. And thanks for rubbing it in our faces that your trucks are destroying the world.
Well, that was a bit of a downer. So I'll bring the mood back up with two words: Puppy Bowl!!!! That's right, Animal Planet decided to compete with the Super Bowl by showing puppies playing in a mini-football field for 3 hours straight. Well, not 3 straight hours. There was a kitty halftime show. It even had a fake audience with little flashing cameras. It was downright adorable. There was also a puppy ref. I joked that he made a call for "unnecessary ruff-ness." I'm awful proud of that comment, I must admit.
As much as I loved the Puupy Bowl, I have to say it was kind of a crazy idea. Imagine the guy who pitched it:
Animal Planet Owner: How do we compete with the Super Bowl?
Only guy with logic at meeting: Umm, I think we have vastly different target audiences. We don't need to worry about it.
APO: You're fired. Any other idea?
Puppy Bowl Creator: How about we show puppies playing for 3 hours?
APO: Brilliant!
OGWLAM: You're shitting me.
APO: I thought I fired you. Puppy Bowl is a go. And where's my pot?
PBC: Here you go, sir.
APO: Score. I thought that kiln would never finish.
So yeah, it's a crazy idea that just happened to be fun. But did anybody actually watch the whole thing? I think that would qualify you as legally insane. You'd have to be stoned or tripping on Ritalin to sit and watch for that long. To be fair, though, it was actually more entertaining that the Super Bowl. If you moved the commercials over, it would be better in every way. I can't wait for the Puupy Cup, Puppy Series, Puppy Olympics and Puppy Wimbledon.
I almost forgot: D-Rock's wife, Lady-Rock, made a chocolate cake in the shape of a football. Unfortunately, I spiked it during a moment of excitement in the puppy bowl.
All in all, a fun day: overgrown men, undergrown dogs and watching D-Rock drink 12 beers. Can't beat that.
Legal counsel and I slept in late, then went to D-Rock's casa for the Super Bowl. It's some sort of gentlemen's sport competition, I'm told. When I entered D-Rock's place, I must admit to being pleasantly surprised. It was much nicer than reckoned. I was expecting a third world level of squalor, at least. Maybe fourth world - it'd be so filthy it would require a new nomenclature. Since D-Rock himself is like Pigpen from "Peanuts," I imagined a thin layer of filth covering every surface of the place. Piles of old newspapers, boxes of expired MREs and rusty old bicycles littered the chez D-Rock of my mind. Shirtless children in diapers were running around and there were no less than 4 potbelly pigs. But none of that was true. It was nicely decorated and had Ikea furniture. Props to D-Rock.
So we arrived and started watching the pre-pre-pregame show. It was a mix of prestidigitation for the upcoming game and a history of Super Bowls past. Honestly, football fans are bizarre. Why would you want to watch that much analysis of a single pass thrown in 1986, or the predictions of some overweight turducken lover? We spent most of that time making jokes at the expensive of those on the telly.
Speaking of making jokes, I made plenty. D-Rock had several friends over (I'm as suprised as you are that he has friends) which to me is an audience. Hence, I made with the yuk-yuks. I think I either made a good impression or drove them crazy. Whatever the case, I was amused.
Before the game started, D-Rock cooked up some burgers and veggie burgers on his collection of George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducin' Grillin' Machines. Watching this process and eating the result just further strengthened my love of George Foreman and his grill. Everything tastes better if it touches George foreman before consumption. And it really does reduce the fat! How do I know? I watched the horrible blobs drip off the device. Disgusting. I wished I had my digital camera. The whitish-brown blobs oozed down the grill like artery clogging slugs. And the mass that formed in the collecting tray was enough to put me away from red meat...for about an hour, at which point I ate a real burger instead of the veggie burger I ate first. D-Rock was almost drunk enough to eat the fat collection. I'm a little disappointed I didn't get him to eat it.
Finally the game started. I don't really remember what happened....
The commercials were pretty fun. There was a fair amount of slapstick comedy, which I appreciate. I think my favorite was the FedEx dinosaur commercial. The Bud Light secret fridge was good. And I love the shear randomness of Emerald Nuts. Looking for links to these ads, I just realized my real favorite is the MacGyver Mastercard commercial. His first name is Angus. Pirates of the Caribbean and Cars both made me giddy as a little girl. The big losers of the ads: anything GoDaddy related, annoying Full Throttle, the Whopperettes (the woman dressed as the meat patty reminded me of the George Foreman fat glob) and especially Hummer. No, I don't want to drive a homicidal robot-monster. And thanks for rubbing it in our faces that your trucks are destroying the world.
Well, that was a bit of a downer. So I'll bring the mood back up with two words: Puppy Bowl!!!! That's right, Animal Planet decided to compete with the Super Bowl by showing puppies playing in a mini-football field for 3 hours straight. Well, not 3 straight hours. There was a kitty halftime show. It even had a fake audience with little flashing cameras. It was downright adorable. There was also a puppy ref. I joked that he made a call for "unnecessary ruff-ness." I'm awful proud of that comment, I must admit.
As much as I loved the Puupy Bowl, I have to say it was kind of a crazy idea. Imagine the guy who pitched it:
Animal Planet Owner: How do we compete with the Super Bowl?
Only guy with logic at meeting: Umm, I think we have vastly different target audiences. We don't need to worry about it.
APO: You're fired. Any other idea?
Puppy Bowl Creator: How about we show puppies playing for 3 hours?
APO: Brilliant!
OGWLAM: You're shitting me.
APO: I thought I fired you. Puppy Bowl is a go. And where's my pot?
PBC: Here you go, sir.
APO: Score. I thought that kiln would never finish.
So yeah, it's a crazy idea that just happened to be fun. But did anybody actually watch the whole thing? I think that would qualify you as legally insane. You'd have to be stoned or tripping on Ritalin to sit and watch for that long. To be fair, though, it was actually more entertaining that the Super Bowl. If you moved the commercials over, it would be better in every way. I can't wait for the Puupy Cup, Puppy Series, Puppy Olympics and Puppy Wimbledon.
I almost forgot: D-Rock's wife, Lady-Rock, made a chocolate cake in the shape of a football. Unfortunately, I spiked it during a moment of excitement in the puppy bowl.
All in all, a fun day: overgrown men, undergrown dogs and watching D-Rock drink 12 beers. Can't beat that.
posted by Montgomery at 9:09 AM
1 Comments:
Good call. There really is nothing like a shorn sheep... it's breathtaking. But my vote still goes for FedEx. Three instances of unexpected dinosaur related violence!
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